30 Days To Fall In Love

Day Fourteen - Jake

***Jake***

Who would've thought it? She actually turned me down. Heartbroken, I went back home. Everything seemed darker, like all of the light had rushed away. It was raining bitter raindrops that were filled with eyes. Sharp and silver, they splashed around me. The pavement gave itself up to the rain, crumbling and collapsing beneath my battered trainers.

We'd been wandering the streets all night. Nobody asked to go home. Nobody had spoken a single word. It had long since passed midnight. 

"Don't cry, Jake," Lauren said softly, placing a slender hand upon my shoulder.

"I'm not," I said, touching my cheek with my hand. It was soaking wet. Was that because of the rain?

She looked at me sadly, her eyes filled with a pain I couldn't decipher. She was giving me a thousand words behind those murky blue eyes but I couldn't translate them.

Callum sighed. It shattered the silence that had been consuming us.

"You know she only said that because she was scared," Callum said.

"Right," I laughed. "I think she only said that because she loves him."

Lauren shook her head, "I don't think so."

"Then why'd she go back to him?" I asked. "Why would she run back to Darren if she didn't love him?"

"It's like you said yesterday - was it yesterday? I don't even know how long we've been here," Callum said.

"It was yesterday," Lauren said. "Look, Jake, she needs some time to realise her own mistake. For now the best thing you can do is focus on yourself."

"Do you think she'll ever realise?" I asked.

There was a long silence before Callum answered, "Yeah, of course she will."

"Yeah," Lauren agreed. "She'd be stupid not to realise what a great guy you are..."

I looked at my shoes with a sigh, "I'm sorry for keeping you two up. Maybe we should go home."

They shrugged as if they didn't care they'd been wandering around doing nothing for half the night. I was filled with warmth at the realisation what good friends they were for just being there for me.

"Thank you both...So much," I said, forcing a smile.

I trudged back home watching the rainfall become heavier and sighed. Why did I ever have to meet Emma? She was just like this drain on my emotions - ruining me slowly.

I managed to get halfway up the stairs before Mum came out from her bedroom. She was already dressed and wearing a furious expression upon her face.

"Jake!" she hissed in an angry whisper. "What are you doing getting back so late?"

"Oh... I was at a - er - party," I lied.

She narrowed her eyes, "Well, you should've answered your phone!"

"I - er - left it at home..." I said. I wasn't even sure if that was true or not. I hadn't even thought to look at my phone. Depression and Emma (two words that seemed to walk hand-in-hand) were the only things on my mind.

She sighed, "Jake. I-"

"God, what now?"

She looked up at me, tears in her eyes.

"What?" I panicked. "What's wrong, Mum?"

She looked at me. Behind her eyes I could see her wanting to cry.

"Never mind," she shook her head. "It's nothing."

"Come on, Mum. Tell me?" I asked.

She sighed, "I-I'm just not sure if I should tell your Father about my new job."

"Don't tell him," I said. "I thought we already discussed this?"

She chewed on the inside of her cheek. There was something else. Something she wasn't telling me.

"Mum...?" 

"He tried to get in touch..." she whispered.

"What?" I yelled. Then softer, "What?"

"I'm sorry, Jake. I should've told you. I was just..."

"How could you do this? All this time I thought he didn't give a shit about me when actually that was you!" I snapped.

"I do care about you, Jake. I just didn't..." she sighed.

"Oh come on, Mum. This is crap! This is bullshit! This is-"

Sapphire wandered out from her bedroom looking bleary eyed, "What's going on?"

"Dad's tried to get in touch but Mum decided not to tell us!" I yelled.

Sapphire nibbled at her lip, "Oh, really?"

"Oh, God. She knew too?" I cried. Betrayal wasn't even a good enough word for how I felt. 

"I had to tell Saph. She wandered in one time when-"

"Cut the crap, Mum," I snapped. 

I was tempted to storm back outside but, after one last look at their faces, I realised that I couldn't do that to them. They'd done this out of love - a mad and crazy thing that I couldn't forgive them for yet - but it wasn't out of hatred.

Still, I was angry, so I ran into my room and slammed the door. I crumpled down, weak like paper left out in the rain, and sobbed.

All of the emotions from today and yesterday poured out. I could hear Mum and Saph muttering to one another outside. I didn't care.

Emma didn't love me. My Father did love me. What was going on?

*

I woke from a dreamless sleep feeling worse than I had done the night before. My head was filled with a throbbing pain and I felt ready to cry at every oppurtunity.

I saw a text from Lauren on my phone: hey jake hope ur ok :) we can meet up if you want?xxxx

Lauren was a nice girl. What harm could meeting up with her do? 

So, after a long day at school spent looking out for Emma but seeing her nowhere, I headed out to meet Lauren.

She was dressed casually in a baggy green jumper and skinny jeans, "Hi, Jake."

"Hey," I said. I wanted to sound upbeat but it was so hard.

"I'm so sorry about Emma," she said anxiously.

I shrugged, "Whatever. I barely knew her."

That 'whatever' was the biggest lie in my life. She meant so much to me already. It was like she contained a huge part of my life - maybe it was all the 'could've-been' moments that were hurting me. 

She sighed, "It sucks to be rejected by someone..." 

I looked at her. Was that 'someone' me? I knew she liked me. I just figured she hadn't been that interested in me. How could I have been so hurful? Pushing her away with Callum. For all I knew, she could've been just as into me as I was into Emma.

"Thanks for being there last night," I said.

"I'm always here for you," she reminded me. 

Then she planted a kiss on my lips. Fleeting as it was, they were left tingling and my stomach fizzing like fireworks. I wasn't even sure if she had kissed me. After all, I was exhausted. And all I could remember about that kiss was wishing those eyes belonged to Emma.