30 Days To Fall In Love

Day Four - Emma

***Emma***

I hadn’t spoken to him in a year and then suddenly there he was leaning with one elbow against my locker. He shook his head and chuckled softly to himself, his piercing eyes looking me up and down. I glared at him: what the hell was he doing here?

“Emma,” he said. There was a smug smile stretched across his face. I wanted to slap him - I’d wanted to for a long time now. I couldn’t believe the nerve of him: turning up like this.

“Emma,” he said. Ah! There it was. The tone he used on me the last time we spoke. He shouted at me and I shouted back. And then it was over.

I swallowed. I ought to speak or he’d get really angry, “Darren...”

“It’s been too long,” he sighed. Was that sarcasm I could hear?

“Has it? I barely noticed you were gone,” I smiled.

“Well, if that’s the case, why do you have yourself a boyfriend already?” he was smirking.

“Boyfriend?” I said.

“Yeah, that tall boy...Jack?”

“Jake?” I laughed.

“Whatever,” he said. “Why are you dating him?”

“I’m not. Anna likes him anyway,” I laughed.

“Oh, that’s good. I guess I don’t have anything to worry about, then...” He was looking at me intently, looking right into my eyes. Somehow I found myself gazing back into his eyes - rippled dark chocolate coloured.

Then I realised how stupid I was being and quickly looked down, “See you around...” Then I walked away as quickly as I could.

What was Darren doing? We weren’t supposed to be speaking anymore. We’d managed a whole year without speaking. I didn’t want to hear from him ever again. Actually, it was him who decided we weren’t going to talk anymore. I agreed it was for the best. And it has been a lot better. What was he doing?

There’s no such thing as love: it was Darren who taught me that.

We met eighteen months ago. I’d just completed some artwork and it was really important. It was around the time when I first started staying late at school. Of course, Mum and Dad had always been arguing and I’d always wanted to get away: I’d just never had the opportunity before.

Clara wasn’t even working at the school back then. It was another lady. She wasn’t as nice. When she’d see me in the art rooms she’d yell at me for making a mess and shoo me away.

So, one evening I’d just finished some work and was trying to get home. I don’t even know how I had planned to get all the way home with a piece of work bigger than me: I couldn’t even see where I was going.

As I stumbled down the stairs, I crashed into somebody and landed on top of them - my art wedged in between us.

Beneath me was Darren. I didn’t know who he was then, though. He was just a really good looking boy looking embarrassed.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Do I look okay?” I snapped. I didn’t want to be angry at him because it was hardly his fault. I just couldn’t help myself. Everything was so tense and impossible to deal with back then.

“I’m really sorry about your work...” he said, looking like he genuinely cared. He handed me the two halves of the canvas. “...It looked really good.”

“It doesn’t matter. Please throw it away,” I sniffed.

“Why should I throw it away? It’s really nice...” he said with a smile. “I’m sure I could fix it with some glue.”

“Forget it,” I sighed, blinking to try and stop myself crying. I felt so pathetic for nearly crying in front of this boy whose name I didn’t even know at the time.

“Okay,” he said. “I’m Darren, by the way.” He offered me his hand. I giggled and took it - it was strong and warm.

“Emma,” I said shyly. “I guess I should head home...”

I turned around to leave. Just as I was at the end of the corridor he called out, “Hey!”

I spun back around, “Yes?” What was he going to ask? Suddenly, my stomach was full of butterflies and I felt giddy like a little girl spinning around in the snow for the first time.

“Can I have your number?” he asked.

My face broke out into a smile, “Sure...”

It wasn’t anything like in a film, where the girls whip some card out of their bag and hand it over (where do they get those anyway?) Instead, I struggled to remember my number and ended up giving him the wrong one anyway.

We spoke a lot after that and got on really well - everything was perfect. For months afterwards things were rosy red and perfect. We were in love (if there is such a thing).

Darren had been my rock for a while, the only person there to keep me standing when I felt like I was drowning. He had been my diary; he knew all of my secrets and never judged me or asked any questions. He was just there through it all.

Everything we did was so much fun. I found myself waking up with a smile on my face every morning - even when I could hear Mum and Dad screaming all through the night. If anything, it was nice to know that I had a relationship that wasn’t going to fall to pieces like theirs.

It was amazing to have someone who actually cared. I could’ve called him up at three in the morning and he’d listen to me cry or freak out or laugh. It felt like he was going to be there forever.

Then suddenly, out of the blue, he had himself a girlfriend. I was so confused. I tried confronting him about it but he just laughed off what he had as ‘fooling around’. It made me cry. Seriously, I had broken down on the floor in tears because everything he’d said to me had been lies.

I felt like I could never trust anyone after that. My parents had already let me down. My grandparents were long gone. I really felt so alone for a while.

That was when it clicked: love doesn’t exist. How could it exist?

I must’ve been under some sort of an illusion. When I realised that, it was a relief to be away from him. But I still couldn’t let myself get close to anyone like that again. Darren knew that, he understood me.

So what did he mean about Jake being my boyfriend?