Home || Lucky Blue Smith

Ch. 32

Five Months Later (A/N-I know I'm sorry hate me)

I sat there, astonished at to what my parents were telling me. It came to the point where, their voice drained out and all I could here was my heart beat and my breathing.

I pursed my lips, trying to keep the tears inside.

"Alana." My father spoke, snapping me out of my attack.

"Y-yeah?" The words barely leaving my mouth. I shakily pulled my hair behind my ears, trying to process everything.

"We've been meaning to tell you, but we know if you knew sooner, you'd rebel." I stayed silent, knowing it's true. "We're taking the last three days off. So we can prepare ourselves. You should too. Here." My mother hands me a pile of boxes.

We're moving.

My hands were shaking as I grabbed all the boxes my mother gave me. I ran upstairs, stopping myself as I looked next door. Sam's room. Tears formed in my eyes and I yelled. I yelled at the top of my lungs and barged into his room. He used to hate when I'd do that. My dad had ran up here, checking why I was screaming. He felt relief once he saw what I was doing. He walked in, his body towering over me. Sam was almost my dad's height. 6'5. He was counting down the days he'd reach my dad. But it never happened. My father grabbed a box out of my hand, setting it up like a pop up. He started to put Sam's things inside. He looked at me, his green eyes filled with pain.

"You can take what you want from here. Everything that is Sam's will be in boxes in the basement of our new house, but get what you want to keep to yourself now before your mom starts packing this place up." He gives me a small smile before walking away.

I look around the room. I can't believe he's actually gone and I know as much as everyone tells me, I will always feel like it's my fault.

I've picked up small things I'd like to keep like written journals, his Star Wars movie collection (it was a thing we both loved), etc. Mostly I kept his art supplies, putting them into a new box. Ever since we were little, Sam was so into art and drawing. At the age of 5, he could draw a flower like an artist. He taught me so many drawing skills and painting skills. When I was still in school I took art. Honestly, after I left I really missed it. Art was part of Sam. Art made him feel alive.

Before leaving his room, I grab a painting and a book he was reading. It sat nicely on the floor. I picked the book up, opening it to see some pages but a small paper falls out. It drops between my feet and I glare at it, picking it up and unfolding it.

Dear Alana,

I know you hate that I won't be here for your birthday. I am truly sorry. You know I wouldn't go if it wasn't important. By important I mean COLLEGE. This is a new step in my life and honestly I'm so scared. But we have to look over the next wave. Good things happen for the bad but it all ends well. I just wanted to remind you that because I won't be here for most of your breakups anymore. I won't be here when you fall. So you have to pick yourself up and remind yourself that whatever you're broken over. It isn't worth it. Maybe it is but just keep telling yourself that so you feel better. You're getting older and I hope I get the chance to hate one of your boyfriends so I can threaten him. Aka how I did with Frankie. I hope you find someone that lightens up your day just by presence. Love is complicated but never let the lust for each other die. I hope you have a great birthday and I hope you spend it well. These ages don't come twice. Sorry I couldn't be there for it, but there is a surprise in the back. I'm off to college, well I guess when your reading this I'll be there already but I love you Alana. Happy Birthday x

Love,
Sam