Home || Lucky Blue Smith

Ch. 11

I stared at my bandaged feet. I have to wear crutches for a month until i can walk with my left foot. My right one wasn't as deep as the cut on my left one so it'll heal in a couple of days. Im on pain killers right now so I feel tired. My cut was really really deep the were shocked it happened with a rock. But it hurted like a bitch so pain killers. My mom was talking to the doctor outside of my room. I observed how she was moving. She always keeps her hand on her elbow when shes worried. What is she worried about? My foot? I'll be fine. The doctor leaves and my mom pulls out her phone. Swipe. Tap. Tap. On her ear. She's calling someone. I try to listen a little closely the door cracked a teeny bit. She hangs up and swipes. Swipes. Swipes. And then tap. Up to her ear talking. She smiles at me and opens the door.

"Want anything from the vending machine?" Shes hiding something.

"I'd like some Skittles..." I feel drowsy. She smiles and nods and heads away. I close my eyes and rest for a while.

I wake up to someone sliding their hands in mine. I open my eyes and Lucky smiles at me.

"You cut your feet on a rock? Your so lame." He laughs. I hit him on his arm.

"Shut up! It went in really deep."

"That's what she said."

"Lucky!" I laugh at his joke.

"Sorry," he laughs. "How are you? What did the doctors say?"

I tell him about not being able to walk for a month and the recovery. And then i tell him about the girl who came up to me.

"Did you tell them?"

He nods. "I told them I had a girlfriend weeks ago. But I never showed them who. Everyone thought I got back together with my ex Josie but then I posted a picture of you as my Women Crush Wednesday and it all connected."

That name. Josie... Josie... Josie!

"Josie? The model?"

His eyebrows came closer. "Yeah. Do you know her?"

"No but I know Frankie does. He hanged out with her a couple weeks ago. They seemed a bit close."

Lucky's chuckled filled the room. "Well look at that. Coincidence? I think not." He inched closer and pecked my lips. Ugh I want to kiss him for the rest of my life.

He hands me a bag of skittles. "Your mom told me to give you these." I open the bag and ask him to give me the tray in front of my bed. I spill all the skittles on there and organize them by color. Lucky stares at what i'm doing. It's weird. Its like he's amazed.

"So how did you know i was here? I was planning to call you after my nap." I try to change the attention from my organizing skittles. But he still looks at my movements.

"Your mom called me down here. Something about the doctor wanting to speak to me and Ava. Ava is actually in talking to them right now."

Ava's here? Wait why do they want to talk to them?

I grab a blue skittle and hold it up to Lucky's mouth as he takes it from me with his mouth.

"Did she tell you why?"

He was about to say something when a nurse comes in and tells him its his turn. He kisses me goodbye and I grab his hand not wanting to let go but having to.

What the heck is going on?

About like 20 minutes later the doctor comes back in. Lucky tells me he has to go but he'll see me tomorrow.

The doctor asks me questions. About my thoughts. And about my urges. He asks me about much more.

"Alana, Im sorry darling. You have OCD."

OC what?

He explained to me about it and all the symptoms matched up to mine.

"Your friend, Ava, mentioned how you have to do things until you feel right and how you always click the lock button on your car key even in the middle of the store. Your boyfriend told us about the griller. How you would keep turning it off when it was clearly off. He told us about the skittles. Your mother mentioned how you dig your nails in your neck. I think thats a way you cope with your anxiety."

He kept going but he lost me at mom. Lucky and Ava. The closest people to me. They think i have OCD too. They've been thinking this and they don't even bother telling me. I have to take therapy. Three months. This just all happened too fast. Im too tired for this. I haven't slept in days and they are probably going to put me on sleeping medication and I don't know. I want them to leave. I want to go home. I want to get away from the world right now.

"Can I just sleep please..." The doctors nods and tells me everything is going to be okay. Im strong and I can control myself. I hope so. I fall asleep to the sounds of beeping machines and cold air.

The next morning I go home with a prescription for sleeping meds and a therapy session on Friday. My feet are aching and my mother refuses to give me pain killers until we get home.

I face a challenge when I do get home. The stairs. I put one crutch first and lift myself and place the other one. It took me about 3 minutes to get up the stairs. I jump on my bed and lay there with my blanket. I put music on and look out of my giant window. The beach looks so calming. My phone buzzes snapping me out of my thoughts. Its Lucky. I've been ignoring him. I feel as if im not normal for him anymore. I'm not good enough. I don't want to scare him away by my thoughts. I can't anymore. I just can't. He makes me feel so great but im not great for him anymore. I can't. I fall asleep in sadness.

I wake up to the morning sunshine of Malibu. I grab my computer at the end of my bed and decide to finish some shows on Netflix that I need to finish. I never finished Gossip Girl and its a really interesting show. I decide to go with GG instead of House of Cards.

I eat all the snacks my mom brings me and relax. I haven't had a day like this in forever. Usually i'm with Ava or Lucky or buried in schoolwork. Its finally really great I can just relax and forget about things and just watch Netflix and eat.

Im usually the one eating healthy but this time i gave up on healthy. Not even a minute ago I devoured a bag of Takis. I ate chocolate covered strawberries, twinkies, marshmallow treats and tons of cereal. Anything easy to make really. My phone rang buried in the sheets. I felt for it but once I found it i had swiped to answer. It was Lucky. I just stared at my phone debating wether to answer or not.

"I know you're there, Alana. Please just answer."

My hands shaked as I put the phone against my ear.

"Hey..." I said so softly.

"Alana... I think we should take a break." His voice was so soft and sad. I felt so bad. I should've stopped being selfish and stop thinking about myself and start thinking about people I love. But now i'm heartbroken. He's breaking up with me.

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I think i'll be writing a lot this spring break. If not, I have two projects to do. School sucks.

Anyway, thank you guys for all the support and lovely comments. I love you all xx