Time to go

Little flying lights

A/N) the video attached is similar to Clint's act, so watch it if you want to see what it would look like.
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Just like Aries had said the moment he landed in a crouch on the bar the lights on his wrists and ankles lit up brightly. He heard the crowd make a noise of surprise that made him grin. I have been out here for under ten seconds and I've already won the crowd.

So Clint did what he was supposed to do: perform.

He pulled himself up and got lost in the act.

Pull,drop, spin,twist,climb and swing. This is the life! Clint thought. No more hiding in vents or in the background, he couldn't hurt them now. Now he was flying.

"Hawkeye you've got twenty seconds till those lights die," Aries warned through the earpiece.

He laughed " That's all I'll need!"

Clint continued his tricks counting down the seconds. Five,four,three,two. Clint let go of the trapeze bar and began falling toward the hidden net below the bars.

"One"

The lights flickered out milliseconds before he hit the net, feeling the frayed rope stretch and bend around him effectively stopping him.

While Clint bounced lightly off the net that hung about three feet off the ground, he heard the crowd whispering in awe and wonder at his act and he grinned again.

"How do like them apples?" Clint breathed semi-exhausted.

"They're great Barton, now get out of the ring. The lights go on in two and I don't think you want to be a sitting duck out there." Zachary said through the earpiece, apparently managing to pry it away from Aries.

Clint quickly hopped from the springy net and made a dash to the dressing rooms.

When he got there he was welcomed by a crowd of the other performers. They whooped and hollered, many of them hitting Clint on the back. Finally Zachary settled them down.

"Okay..Okay! Settle down now, I know you are all amazed at our new acrobat and I think you'll all agree that we've found our new solo act!"

There was more hollering and shouts of approval.

"Wait!" Clint made a time out sign with his hands " What about Percy,Jason, Liesel and Rowan? Don't I need to perform with them so the act will work?"

Zachary shrugged "We can edited the act, you will still practice and perform with them when we do special shows that require more acrobats but you've got something out there on your own. You should have seen the looks in their eyes, they loved you. And they had a good reason too, you looked like you weren't even human out there!"

Clint tried to shy away from the praise. He may have disliked being sidelined by the avengers but he hated being the centre of attention. He wasn't like Tony or Cap, all high and mighty, he felt the best when he was apart of a team. When he could help the others without sticking out too much. That's why he was a sniper, he could still save his friends but he never made the newspapers.

The carnies still chattered on so Clint made a quick excuse to go back to his tent.

Once the curtain was closed behind him, he stripped of his sweaty leotard and threw on some old shorts and a raggedy grey shirt. Then laid on his bed letting his thoughts become liquid and run through his mind.

What were the others in New York doing right now?

He check his watch. 10:43pm. Bruce and Steve would be sleeping awkwardly on the couch after dozing off mid movie. Tony would be hard at work in the lab sipping on his second gin and tonic that was mostly just gin. Thor was probably somewhere in the nine realms adventuring with the warriors three and Lady Sif. Natasha, oh Natasha could be anywhere right now. She could be on a mission literally anywhere in the world or she could be curled up in her armchair with a book and a warm cup of tea, yawning and enjoying herself. All of them were content, at least now in Clint's mind.

Does the public know I'm dead yet?

Not likely. SHIELD didn't like sharing anything with the public,so he was probably still alive in the eyes of the public. Even further proof was that he hadn't seen a single newspaper that even hints at an Avengers death.

Does this mean Kate still thinks he's alive and kicking in Avengers tower?

He cursed under his breath remembering the hurried letter he had scrawled and taped to his front door;

Hawkeye,
I'm going to be away for awhile. You are welcome to my apartment and I need you to take care of Pizza dog. If there is an emergency and you have to reach me, call avengers tower or Stark or my cell phone or something. I promise that I'll find a way to contact you soon, but I don't know what exactly is going to happen.
You're the best,
Hawkeye

God,he had sounded like he didn't care about her anymore than a stranger of the street . Clint wished that he had never left that note. Heck he wished he had walked up to Stark and said screw you, I don't want to live in your huge tower or be some sorta hero,I want to go home to my apartment and my one-eyed dog and my overconfident,rich girl apprentice.

But he was a SHIELD agent. He did what he was ordered to, the second the battle of New York ended so did anything he had outside the Avengers. He wished that once he jumped off the tower he could have went back to Kate and Pizza dog but all he would be doing is putting them in more danger than he already had.

Eventually Kate will try to reach me and she'll find out I'm dead,it'll be okay. He tried to tell himself, but guilt was seeping into him, making his bone ache and toes cold. She'll keep on with her life like the rest of the Avengers. And maybe in five years once everyone has sufficiently forgotten them I'll find her and say I'm sorry. Then I'll do the same for Nat and that will be that. I'll disappear back into the world.

But Clint knew none of that was going to happen. He was never going to see his apprentice or even Natasha ever again. They were saver without him around and if their wellbeing meant that he had to give up loving them,so be it.