Remains in the Sand | Los Quiros Series Book #01

38

RITS; Chapter Thirty-eight

"What have they been asking you?"

Mula sa aking pananahimik sa tabi ng fountain ay ang pagsulpot ni Reon sa aking harapan. I held the cup of coffee I've bought close to my stomach to be warmed and rubbed my legs from keeping them not-so-close to each other.

Habang pinapanood ko sila kanina, hindi mawari sa aking isipan ang kagustuhang maging isang buo kaming pamilya... Kung pwede lang... But I know my wish was beyond impossible... At this time... At this point. 12 years... Ganu'n katagal bago ko hinarap ang pagkakamali ko.

But giving Reon a good stare, my heart would quickly react... As if 12 years hasn't passed at all.

Pero siguro, malabo na... I was thinking maybe we could do co-parenting with Kleiean... Dahil malaki na rin naman ang anak namin... And we both have means to provide for him.

But only God knows how much I wanted to be close to him for good... To be with him... Like before... Kung maaari... Pero iniisip ko na ang kapal naman ng mukha kong bumalik matapos ko siyang saktan... And that if I really wished for it, I'd let my selfishness take over me once again.

So, I'd enjoy being near him while it lasts.

"It's nothing," I refused to look at him and took a sip on my coffee instead.

Silence enveloped us.

Akala ko'y mananatili lang siyang nakatayo sa aking harapan, pero bigla siyang umupo sa tabi ko't namulsa. Napatingin ako sa kaniya. I watched him watch Kleiean wearing an interested look on his face while entertaining questions of judges tungkol sa kaniyang experiment at nagulat nalang akong ako na pala yung tinititigan niya ngayon.

He extended his right foot on the chilly floor before cocking his head on the side a little. "I've been asked too... And I know that their questions to you didn't sound closely similar to what they've asked me."

"You know, we can't stop people unknown to us from speaking about our lives. Because for one, they know nothing, that's why they keep talking."

I didn't know where I got that courage to convince Reon that it was just actually nothing... What they've asked me... when in fact deep inside, I knew I got affected with the way they threw me their questions. Na para bang kinikuwestyon nila yung mga desisyon ko sa buhay kahit wala naman silang alam tungkol sa akin.

After the whole Dad-and-son moment Kleiean and Reon showed the entire school, their questions almost fried me alive. They just kept coming. Ganu'n sila ka interesadong malaman ang buhay ng ibang tao that they didn't notice how far they've crossed the line. Their questions weren't worth entertaining anymore. They were worth buried. Their tone... Their facial expressions... Their questions... They all bear judgment.

"You're here you know," Reon suddenly said. "Out of the crowd, all alone. Don't torture yourself, let it out."

Napayuko naman ako. I don't know... Those 12 years taught me how to get everything done on my own, without anyone's help... Kaya parang hindi ko kayang maglabas ng emosyon sa isang tao... Not even with Reon. And besides, I've been training myself to not make a big deal out of everything. That I needed to calm down at hindi lang basta-bastang magpapadala sa bugso ng damdamin ko dahil ayaw ko nang maulit yung nangyari noong basta-basta nalang akong aalis at mawawala dahil lang hinayaan kong tangayin ng emosyon ko ang utak ko.