Daddy Issues

68 - Tell me

'I thought you were like, done with drinking.'

I don't respond. Because another disgusting wave of vomit erupts from my mouth into the toilet.

Afterwards, I sag on the ground and groan.

'I am.'

'Hm.'

I glare at the toilet bowl and refuse to look back at my roommate, Sandra. I like my other roommate, Camilla, wel enough. But Sandra is a bit of a bitch.

'Well, hope you feel better soon,' she says. 'You are going to clean that up right?'

I roll my eyes as I hear her walk away. Thank God. I can not handle her presence right now.

My stomach turns again, but only bile comes out this time. No wonder. I've thrown up so much, it would be impossible for any food to be left at this point.

With a lot of effort, I raise my arm up and flush, mumbling to myself.

'Fucking tequila.'

Then, with even more effort, I raise myself up from the ground, strip myself from last night's clothes and stumble into the shower.

Last night was a fucking mess. I was absolutely not prepared to face Dan. I almost got away with it, though. I managed to have a normal conversation with him, be cool about it and everything. But then he had to come up to me in the club.

At least all of it made one thing clear: Dan is as messed up about the break up as I am. If not more so. But why? It was his decision. I made it very clear that I wanted to be with him. But he was relentless. He wouldn't even try to work things out.

I didn't have a choice.

Though everything's a little foggy, I clearly remember him saying that. Almost like he didn't want to break up with me. It was so sudden when it happened too. We were happy with each other right until that evening.

But why wouldn't he have had a choice? Did he mean that he didn't have a choice because he knew it would be better in the long run, even if he did love me? Or did somebody force him to do it somehow?

If anyone did, there can only be one person responsible. But what could my mother possibly have said or done to make him break up with me? It doesn't make any sense.

Though the hot water is a comfort, and it's a relief to wash off the smell of alcohol, sweat and cigarettes, standing up straight is a challenge. So after I've managed to wash my hair, I dry myself with slow movements, put on my robe and drop back down onto my bed.

I should have probably followed Dan's advice last night. Drink some water and take some aspirin. But I didn't, so I'll just feel like shit all day.

When I reach for my phone, I feel even worse. Because for the first time in months, there's a text from Dan.

I'm really sorry about last night. I was an idiot. Hope you got home safe.

He really was an idiot. I couldn't really think straight last night, but now, it's pretty obvious that he followed me to Inferno. I think Yuki said something along those lines too.

Why he'd bother to do that, still doesn't make sense to me. He said he couldn't stand the thought of me with another man. He did not act like a man that wants the relationship to be over. At all.

And Yuki knows something. She wouldn't answer my questions. What did she say again? Something like... it didn't matter because it was for the best anyway. Well, I already knew she wasn't behind our relationship, but that's not up to her, is it?