Daddy Issues

35 - A date

I've been on my bed mindlessly scrolling through my phone for about half an hour when there's a knock on the door.

I'm not sure if it's Dan or Mom. Either way, I debate ignoring it. I have no desire to speak with my mom right now and I don't really want to talk about what happened at dinner with Dan either.

When I don't respond, there's another knock. Then Dan's voice.

'Emma, it's me.'

I could pretend to be sleeping. But he did really try to help me at dinner. And clearly he's spoken up on my behalf before that as well, because Mom's already sick of it. I can't just pretend not to hear him.

So I slide off the bed and move to the door. Then I open it just far enough so I can see him, but he won't be tempted to come inside.

'Are you okay?' he asks me softly. It makes me want to cry again.

'I'm fantastic,' I tell him. His lips curl up in a humorless smile for a moment in response to the sarcasm.

'That was... hard to watch. You really tried. If you want, we can-'

'Dan,' I cut him off. 'I'm sorry, I just don't really want to talk about it right now. I... need a moment to pull myself together.'

'Okay,' he says, nodding in agreement. 'Of course. I just wanted to let you know that I'm proud of you. You really made an effort.'

'Oh. Thanks.'

I smile at him, but I feel a little awkward. Things with Dan feel a little weird since Mom is back. When Mom was gone, of course I knew that Dan was her boyfriend. But it was a lot easier to see him as something apart from that. He was just Dan and he felt more like an equal. Now it's so much more like I'm the kid and they're the adults. Especially at a dinner like that where I'm being reprimanded. When he tells me he's proud of me, it kind of gives me the feeling that it's the same way for him. That he sees me more as his girlfriend's kid than as an equal. Though of course, he only means it to be kind.

'I wanted to ask you if you'd like to come with me tonight,' Dan continues. 'I have another band practice since the gig's getting close. Avery will be there, I'm sure she'd love to see you.'

Go with him to band practice? Since Mom wouldn't go, things might be more like they were the past two weeks. It would be nice. But the truth is that I'm exhausted. Again. And I really don't feel like being sociable all night.

'Thanks, but I think I'm just gonna hang back here. Maybe read a little. I'm going to need part 3 soon, by the way.'

'You're a fast reader.'

'Yes, it appears I am. So, are you excited about the gig? Is Jamal up to par yet?'

I can't help but smile when his eyes light up at the question.

'Oh, yes, it's going to be awesome. Jamal is going to do great. We practiced a little yesterday too and he did better than me, actually. Yuki kept yelling at me because I couldn't-'

He breaks himself off at the last moment and looks me in the eye. Like he's only just realizing what he's saying. I raise an eyebrow in confusion. But then it makes sense.

'Focus.' He finishes softly. I frown a little and look away. And I feel like a jerk again for not giving him some more assurance that I was alright. I'm just not used to anyone caring that much.

He clears his throat and puts on a smile. Then quickly starts to talk over it.

'But on the whole, we're pretty much ready. I've never played a gig this big, I'm kind of nervous. By the way, you're coming, right?'