Daddy Issues

57 - Secrets

'So,' Mel says, sounding somewhat reluctant. 'How was it last night?'

We're taking a little walk around the park, enjoying the sunny weather. She's been a little quiet since I came back. Probably holding in her views on everything.

'It was good,' I say evasively. 'Yeah, it was nice.'

She throws me a look so skeptical, it almost makes me giggle.

'Did you do it?'

I told her that we hadn't gone all the way yet before I left. I didn't tell her I was hoping it would happen yesterday, but I'm sure it was obvious.

I can't stop the smile from rushing to my face.

'Only like 4 times.'

'Oh my God,' Mel replies, turning her eyes to the sky.

'It was amazing,' I say excitedly. I know Mel doesn't approve, but I just can't stop myself from sharing about this with my best friend.

'I was pretty nervous, can you believe it? But it felt so good. I mean, after what we'd already done, I kind of knew what to expect, but still. My God, he knows how to move, you know? He was pretty gentle last night, which was nice, but then this morning in the shower it was-'

'Okay! That's enough detail, thank you.'

I chuckle, a little embarrassed. Maybe I was getting a little carried away there. But I still feel like butterflies are having a frenzy in my stomach. Things got very hot in the shower this morning. The way he held on to my hips as he pounded into me while he had me pressed me against the glass wall. Fuck, I'll be taking all of my showers with him from now on.

'It was just... it was so intimate, you know?' I say.

'They do call it being intimate for a reason,' Mel says dryly.

'You know what I mean,' I say excitedly. 'I haven't let a guy get close in years. It just... It feels different.'

'Look, Em, I'm happy for you that it feels so amazing... But right now, he's gone over to your mother to discuss the details of their breakup. Doesn't that bother you?'

'Of course it bothers me,' I say, my excitement deflating a little. 'I wouldn't have planned it this way, trust me.'

Dan said he'd text me if Mom turned him away, but he hasn't. So I assume they're talking right now. I'm so curious to find out how it went. It's making it a little bit difficult to focus on anything else, but I do my best to stay in the present as much as possible.

'I know it's weird. And I hate myself for what this is doing to my mother. But... I really love him.'

Mel looks at me from the corner of her eye. She looks like she has a lot more to say about it. But she just sighs and shakes her head.

'So what's the plan with the living arrangements? Are you going to move into his new apartment with him?'

'No,' I say, feeling a little uncomfortable. 'I don't think so. We've been together for like 3 days, that would probably be a bit fast, right?'

'Probably.'

'Why? You wanna kick me out?'

I take on a joking tone, but the truth is that I'm dreading her answer. I totally understand that she'll want her place to herself again, but I'm worried that it will put a strain on things if I ask Dan if I can stay with him so soon. And I certainly don't have anywhere else to go.

'No,' Mel assures me quickly. 'You can stay for a while. But the apartment is just too small for the two of us in the long run.'

'I know. Soon as I have an income, I'll find something for myself. And I'll probably be with Dan for a lot of nights anyway.'