Daddy Issues

28 - With or without you

A little before midnight, Dan and I are the last ones of the group to remain. Yuki and Jamal left at 11 to relieve their babysitter. Carlos called it a night at the same time and Avery decided to take Pete home about 10 minutes ago, because he's had a bit too much to drink.

So it's just us now. I feel like it would probably be a good idea to head home soon as well, since Mom is coming home tomorrow. But on the other hand, I don't really want the night to end and she won't be home till somewhere in the afternoon anyway.

I look at Dan who's still showing off his adorably clumsy dance moves and all of a sudden, a wave of sadness hits me. Tonight really is the last night. Mom will be back tomorrow so he'll be spending his time with her, not me. I'm sure he'll keep welcoming me to join them for dinner and movie nights and whatever. But he'll find out soon enough that it just doesn't work with Mom and me.

I realize that Dan's looking at me, so I try to put on a cheerful face again. But he must have noticed my expression, because he moves closer to talk to me.

'Are you getting tired?' he asks me.

'A little.'

'Do you want to go home?'

If we go home, it will be over.

'We can stay a little longer.'

'Oh good. I love this song.'

Then, without warning, he takes a hold of my hands to dance with me. I laugh when he spins me around and try to ignore the way my heart sped up the second he touched me. Which is manageable until he spins me back and catches me by my waist. I doubt he'd be doing this if he wasn't intoxicated.

'So, what do you think of the music?' he asks. 'Does my generation have some taste after all?'

I can hardly process the question with him so close. His warm hands seem to burn on my waist and my brain has gone foggy.

'Yes, it's good', I say, trying very hard to focus on getting the words out. 'You realize the Red Hot Chili Peppers are still active, right? I have heard of them.'

'Okay, miss know-it-all.'

I put my hands on his shoulders, because they've been hanging idly by my side. I'm sure we look weird. Like two teens dancing at a school dance while trying to maintain the appropriate distance.

'Let's play a game,' Dan says. 'Tell me the name of the song, or you're buying me a shot.'

'I still don't have any money,' I remind him.

'Then you'll have to pay me back. So, what is it?'

'Oh, uhm...'

I should know this. It's at the tip of my tongue. But the smell of the cologne I told him not to wear creeps into my nose. I thought it was too strong when he let me smell it. And I was right. It makes me dizzy. Or maybe it's his eyes that are so close and locked on mine, full of gleeful anticipation.

'You give up?'

For the life of me, I can't come up with it. It's impossible to think with my mouth so close to his. I can't help it. My eyes flick down to his lips and I can see his smile disappear. When I look into his eyes again, he looks much more serious. Not angry or anything. Just more like... intense.

'Yes', I whisper. 'I don't know.'

The song changes. He moves just a little closer, letting our arms drop into a more relaxed stance. Even if I feel anything but relaxed. It's getting hard to breathe. His eyes never leave mine.

'How bout this one?' he asks.

I know this one. This one's easy.

'With or without you', I tell him breathlessly.