Daddy Issues

15 - Bree

I tried researching possible career paths again today, but it quickly got me depressed, so I texted some friends to see if anyone could hang out. But of course, since everybody else does have a life, nobody could. Mel's working at the book store, Zoe's working too, Liv's on a getaway with her situationship and I didn't feel like texting other friends that I haven't even really spoken to in ages.

I even miss med school a little bit. Not the classes or anything, but I did get to know some great people there who were always up to hang out. Or for a party. Mostly, I miss my roommate Cassie, so I called her for a little bit to catch up, but after that the day still seemed endless.

I spent some time reading, but I did the same thing yesterday and though the book's really good, after a while I felt the need to do something physical. Calvin's no longer an option, so it was going to have to be something else.

I'm not desperate enough yet to try working out for fun, but another idea did pop into my mind when I took a contemplative look into the garden. I remembered how much I enjoyed fixing the fence and that I got all kinds of ideas walking through the hardware store. So then I figured, why not?

I decided to make something. The only question was, what? At the store, the thought of building a tree house for my cousins crossed my mind. But I figured that might be a bit ambitious.

Thinking about my cousins did remind me of Christmas. Mom said I should apologize to them for blowing up, but I never did. Though the night is a bit of a blur, I do vaguely remember little Sarah crying as I was screaming. I never meant to ruin their night. Maybe I do owe them an apology.

I decided to build them a bird house. I thought that should be simple enough. So I did some research online and gathered the materials I needed. The only thing that was missing was the wood, so I traveled back and forth to the hardware store and spent most of the remainder of my money on it.

Since Mom agreed that getting a job next to med school would be a bit much, she gives me a monthly allowance. But since most of my expenses were covered at school, it's only 50 dollars. Fortunately, booze at uni parties was cheap and if I ran out, I just relied on friends or guys buying me drinks. It usually worked out.

I'm not going to be able to do much here with the money I've got left until I get my allowance again, but as I'm working on the bird house, I think the spending was worth it. I haven't felt this peaceful in ages. As I'm sawing and hammering and assembling, there isn't any room for thoughts about med school and failing or my future or disappointing my mom. All my focus is on bringing the design to life. It works almost as good as getting shit faced drunk and fucking some random hot guy.

In the late afternoon, I'm done. I'm holding up an actual, solid bird house. That I made! I'm not usually on social media that much, but I've got this undeniable desire to share my accomplishment with the world. So I snap a picture of the thing and post it on my Instagram story.

Soon, some replies start coming on. Cassie's impressed. Liv asks me if I'm okay. Calvin compliments me in a way that makes it seem like I personally made the Eiffel Tower. I roll my eyes at the desperate attempt to get on my good side again. I didn't realize I hadn't blocked him on here yet, so I do it anyway.

Then I get a reply from Keith.

Wow. Beautiful and talented.

I raise my eyebrows at the message. I already got the feeling that he might be into me when we were at the band practice and when he added me on Insta later that night, I was sure I hadn't imagined it.

I wonder what Dan would say if he knew his friend was flirting with me. I doubt this guy would tell him.

Thanks,' I reply, a little dryly.