My head pounds at the rhythm of the distant song, and he has something in his eyes. I can feel a pounding in my chest, to which I feel I wasn't the only one feeling it. I feel myself pulsing, and my body lurks for his touch. Every touch is a flame, and I start becoming too aware of my body.
He touches my face, and I watch him scan me. I have the possibility of not doing anything, but I lean towards him, connecting our lips again. This kiss is not sloppy, not casual, but needy, warm. I smile in between the kiss, breaking it, and I knot my fingers in between his, and suddenly the room is warmer.
My life has been a cycle of fears, of 'what if's, of thinking ahead, and I have been spoiled by anything that's actually life. Falling and getting up again, I didn't give myself permission to fall, to feel what it means. No one knows me here, and maybe that's why I'm finally giving myself up completely. I look at the man in front of me, and I don't know what he's thinking. I don't know If he's taking advantage of me or I am, if he's using me because I'm new to this, or if I am because he's not. But I decided that tonight I'm giving up on keeping up with me. I'm letting myself fall.
I squeeze through the crowd, and I look back at him, which is visibly very confused at what's happening, but he's not backing up from me, he's following me blindly. I find the door we went out of, and I go back.
Back to the room.
His eyes darken, and his hand squeezes mine. The door slams shut, and his hand goes under my chin. I look in his eyes and feel my legs throb. I was definitely looking at him from the wrong angle. His eyebrow shoots up, and he eyes me distantly "Are you sure?'
I nod, not expecting this question to come. I feel like shrinking under his stare, his thumb pressing on my chin
"Don't" he says looking away "I asked you, are you sure?" Why is he making me overthink this?
"What do you want me to say? It's not such a big deal" he frowns, and I back away from his hold. I feel a pressure on my chest that wasn't there before. I feel less and less bold.
"But it is" he looks at me narrowed, and this is the moment I feel like fidgeting, but a vein inside me snaps.
"I want you to have sex with me" that was enough. I feel myself getting anxious by the second, and I expect him to laugh at my face every second. But he doesn't. I feel a knot in my throat, and he seems to notice.
"What happened, Verena" he asks me suddenly and my eyes shoot wide. The words die in my throat. I look down, and my hands go behind my back. I'm back where I was before.
He looks at me, not pitying, but demanding. "I've been struggling to get close to any guy, I've been taken advantage of before and I–" I breathe. I forgot to do it before. "A guy , many guys did, ". I breathe out "I just hoped that being with someone I won't ever see again could just make me forget that" I look at him again, and he shows no emotion. None at all. This was a horrible mistake.
His eyes are spread on me, not on one point, but he's looking all over me, leaning on the wall next to the door. I feel like I'm suffocating. I need to get out of here."Fuck just forget It" I walk fast to the door, but he is faster, blocking me from getting out of the room. His arms are crossed, and his eyes locked on me.
"Did they touch you?" I shiver. I look somewhere behind him, I can't stand looking at him. I redden.
"It doesn't matter" my head is lifted by his hand, and I'm forced into looking at him
"Did. they. touch. you?" I warmth spread in me, and my cheeks flush instantly
I shake my head, and I feel him breathing hard. His eyes are harsh, his face is not expressing anything in particular. I can faintly see my reflection in his eyes, and I tense up. I look desperate.
YOU ARE READING
𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒 by A.P.Mary
Romance"The fact that everything has an end scares the shit out of me" Sometimes life doesn't go as planned. Some are forced to change bits of their life, and others are forced to stay in London for 24 hours, because they couldn't find a direct flight to I...
