Unlikely Mistake ✔

Mistake.38 - Baby

Thank you for waiting!
As always *Unedited*

》ENZO《

I feel like it's been so long since I last felt her presence. Smelled her sweet scent.

And hear her voice. Her familiar calming and angelic voice.

Somewhere in my heart I know that I've been missing all of those. Something that I've been longing for.

Hindi ko alam kung kailan nag-simulang magising ang diwa ko. Nagka-malay tao lang ako ngunit hindi minsmo ako. Hindi ang katawan ko. Pero kahit ganun ay masaya pa rin aakong marinig muli ang tinig nya.

I feel like I was in heaven listening to angels sing sa tuwing magku-kwento sya nang nangyari sa araw nya. O di naman kaya ng tungkol sa anak namin.

Wait! Am I already in heaven? Is that mean am I already dead?

I don't think so. Because i felt numb. My entire body felt stiffed and ichy, like I was been paralyzed for some time now. The half part of my head felt weird, like something has been removed from it. But still felt heavy. Weird.

Isa pa nararamdaman ko sya, ang presensya nya. Her familiar warmth. Her gentle warmth that kept on spreading all over my body and through my heart. I can always feel it, sa tuwing malapit sya sa akin... sa tuwing nasa tabi ko sya.

One more thing, ang maramdaman ang pag-galaw ng anak namin mula sa sinapupunan nya ay sapat na para masabi ko sa sarili kong buhay pa ako. Hindi magtatagal makikita ko rin sya - sila, at makakausap.

I don't know where I was or what I have been doing before falling into a sleep. Or in this situation I'm in right now. Though one thing  is for sure and that is, I still want to keep on sleeping. I felt so tired that I want to continue lying in this bed. I want to keep on resting.

But every time I thought of it... just the mere thought of it, my guts keep telling me to open my eyes and look at her. To see her once again. And hold her again. A part of me want to snapped out of this slumber I am in.

Because every time I  hear her voice, its trembling. Her voice that keep on asking and telling me to wake up were strainned and sad. That kind of voice makes my heart constrict in a painful way.

I don't really like how she sound while talking to me. Because her voice alone tell me that she's sad... she's hurting and she's in pain. Lagi ko rin syang naririnig na umiiyak. I don't like it. I don't like all of it. Though i can't do anything about it. I can't do anything to help her.

I don't want her sad. I rather have her pissed or mad at me than being sad... Than cry because of me. She should be nothing but happy. She should be smiling or laughing not shedding her tears for me. I want her happy... all the time.

Katulad ngayon nandito syang muli sa tabi ko. Buhay ang diwa ko ngunit hindi ang katawang tao ko. I always look forward to this, her being with me. Her being by my side.

But sometimes before I even knew it my mind would already be driftted away into the darkness. I would always fight back not to lose conciousness but in the end I always lose. I always have the urge to answer her and talk back to her but before I knew it, I can no longer hear her. I'm back into nothingness... Into the darkness.

Kaya masaya akong nandito syang muli sa tabi ko. At the same time its making me sad to hear her crying voice again. Its making my heart hurt. I feel like someone wants to crashed my heart into pieces. I want to tell her to stop. I want to hussed her every time she's crying but I can't. I can't open my eyes. I kept on trying but i really can't. I can't even move a muscle. Damn it!