Fighter

Ch. 50

About five minutes from home J.J. was the first to break the silence. "So, you don't know if you're pregnant?"

"No, I don't know. Please, don't say anything." I beg.

"I won't. What are you going to do if you are?" J.J. asks.

"I have no clue. I guess I'll figure it out when we find out for sure." I answer.

"How did it happen? I mean, I know how...but why?" J.J. questions.

"The asshole didn't even tell her until later he didn't use a condom. It's Maddox fault." Tyler answers for me.

"It's no one's fault, Tyler. It really wasn't like that." I know I sound defensive, but I was there. What Maddox said is true, he didn't care if he got me pregnant. He told me he didn't, but he also didn't set out to knock me up either.

"Yeah, he just happened to not think of protection with you two or three times. Hadley, he didn't care if you got pregnant, he was being selfish. This is completely on him." Tyler argues.

"I was there. Stop acting like I'm the innocent, naïve little girl that the big, mean Maddox duped into sleeping with him. It wasn't like that, neither of us were thinking. We were stupid but it's not only on Maddox, it's on me, too."

"Hadley, I get that it was your responsibility too, but come on. You're not his first time you know, it's a little different, he should have shown some self-control, he should have protected you." Tyler says, getting frustrated.

"Ah, I can't wait for Thursday. Can we go to a pharmacy? I want to get a test." I tell them.

"You don't think it's too soon?" Tyler asks.

"It's five days before your missed period. I'll still go get the blood test Thursday to make sure, but I'll sleep better knowing I did the at home test."

"Okay." Tyler says, turning around and going back to Main Street. He pulls up to the curb at a twenty-four hour pharmacy.

"Stay here, I'll go." Tyler says, getting out.

"Thanks."

"God, he's got it bad for you." J.J. chimes in.

"Yeah, I just got that memo tonight." I reply.

"If you're pregnant you can't cut Maddox out of your life, you know. He's a messed up guy, but he's a good guy and he does care about you. Hell, he's about as deeply in love with you as I've ever seen anyone in love. He'll do right by you, but you do deserve someone that's not as....I don't know... hard and possessive, you need more than that. I think with time Maddox can change, this is all just new to him. I would be freaking if I got the girl I loved pregnant, too." J.J. confesses coming to Maddox's defense.

"We don't know if I'm even pregnant. Can I ask you something?"

"Of course." He says.

"What would your ideal love be? Tyler says he loves me and I love him, but I don't know what kind of love it is. I'm comfortable with him. I feel like I can breathe with him and have fun, we laugh all the time. But with Maddox, I can't breathe, it's a consuming feeling. I miss him when he leaves the room. When I look at him, my heart races. I'm always on my toes. He says things and does things everyday that surprise me. So, do I go with the man who makes me feel safe and comfortable or the man who I feel consumed by but in a good way, the guy who, with one look, can make me drop to my knees?"

"I think you know the answer to that, but for the sake of cousin bonding, I'll tell you. Love is never a quiet emotion it makes us do stupid things, it makes us forgive anything, but most of all, it is the only thing that will conquer all. You should choose the man who will make you their life, who won't ever give up on you, but he has to let you be you. He has to let you fall and be there to pick you up through it all. Both Tyler and Maddox will do those things but you don't get to choose who you fall for and you shouldn't stop Tyler from finding someone that makes him fall madly in love. You need to feel, you need to love."