Never A Saint (COMPLETE)

Nine: Danika Reeves

Restless. I cannot sleep.

My eyes remained open although it was same blackness as when they were closed.

I heard my door open with ease and my stomach bubbled with nerves.

I heard my freezer open and I smiled as he opened my room door.

I couldn't see anything, god knows how he could.

But I felt him make a very large dent on my bed and touch my face.

I reached up, covering his hand with mine.

He didn't stop toying with my hair.

"You do this every night?" I asked.

He removed his hand from my hair and touched my chest.

He wrote out letters.

"Go slower."

Y-E-S.

"Do you always kiss me like you did yesterday?"

Y-E-S.

"I never wake up?"

N-O.

"Is it bad that I don't get freaked out much anymore?"

Y-E-S.

"But why?"

I-M/N-O-T/F-R-E-E-D-O-M

I frowned.

But his fingers traced my throat, my lips before he leaned down, kissing me.

I hummed, leaning up off my pillow to maintain it.

His facial hair tickled my face a bit.

But he grabbed both my hands and locked them together so I couldn't reach for him at all.

He pressed his lips to my forehead, my nose.

For the past however long, he's been doing this without me noticing.

Half of me was curious as to when our first kiss was.

Half of me was creeped out.

His lips touched mine again.

I remained relaxed.

It was less of a kiss, more of a caress.

"Have you ever kissed me after kissing someone else?"

G-O-D/N-O

I laughed.

He kept my hands stuck together.

"Can you stay until I'm asleep?" I know it was weird but I felt oddly safe.

He stood, I heard a snap before leather was tying my wrists together.

It was his belt.

Then he picked me up like I weighed absolutely nothing, sat on my bed, lying his back against the bed frame and settling me beside him.

I scooted downward until my head was on his thigh, one of my legs crossing over his calf and holding him to me like a body pillow.

"I won't touch you I promise. This is uncomfy." I whispered.

But all he did was loosen them a notch.

So I figured it out, his hand played with my curls gently, touching my face, my lips, my jaw.

I fell asleep easy.

-

"I've come to peace with everything. My paranoia is gone, I've been getting my life together." I said.

"That's amazing. I knew it was all just overthinking." She smiled.

It wasn't. But I wouldn't tell her that.

"Tell me about this new job."

I told her everything.

It was amazing for me.

The money I made, the people were pretty kind.

I felt wrong for skipping out on speaking about him.

But I didn't want him to get in trouble.

I didn't want her to put me into an insane asylum for enjoying his attention.

So I pretended life was 100% completely fine.

I left, sitting in my car.

I looked around me.

I wondered if he was here or not.

Unknown: I don't like your therapist.

Me: Why?

Unknown: She doesn't actually listen to you. She calls you paranoid and crazy. You can't even tell her about me. That's no good therapist, my rose.

Me: But I like her.

Unknown: I know what's good for you. She can never be happy for you and you can never be honest with her.

Me: I see what you mean.

Unknown: I'll be your therapist. Don't spend your money on her terrible work. Stop seeing her.

Me: Ahhh this is why you told me I should worry. You're a controlling bastard.

Unknown: I know I am. Controlling, manipulative, toxic, I am terrible. I'm everything you don't want.

Me: I know.

Unknown: Then why do you still want my attention?

I frowned, buckling my seatbelt and leaving.

I got home so I could get ready for work.

I understood his point. But I don't know.

Maybe he sees it differently since he isn't me.

He's just an outsider looking in.

So maybe he knows what he's talking about.