Indian Marriage Meet

09 | Alliance 08

My mom as usual arranged for another meeting on March 11 Sunday 2017 in a Temple in Tambaram. I did not like to meet but I agreed to them. 

He looked little aged may be in his 29 or 30's. He asked me if I was willing to marry or my parents are forcing. 

Then the same old general questions of where you work and so on. I was literally feeling very irritated to stand there. 

Not because of the guy. But I am just fed up with all this every time. They speak nicely now and later on reject me. 

I did not even ask him any question and just answered his questions. Really I was not interested to answer or ask any question. 

This questionnaire session for 5 minutes ,is not going to help us in understanding the true colors and behaviors of the guy.

Irrespective of the guy looks good or not, earns well or not, his and his family members true color come out the next day. That is how my experience is with this alliance process.

I looked at him. He is a perfect 80's kid with that innocence in his way of talking. I did not like his name actually as it had reference to one of the God's. I am very peculiar in certain things. Especially when it comes to God, no matter what others say, I have a restriction on the God's I worship. 

It may sound silly, but I am like that. Call me a fool and backward minded. I don't care. That is how I am. 

My future is laughing at me on how my fate will be which I am unaware of right now.

 We came to where the elders are seated. They said they are ok with proceeding further. Sensing my look, his parents asked me to take 2 days of time to think and let them know. 

We came home and discussed. My parents were convinced with the guy . I too was forced to convince. Out of all the proposals, they seemed ok. And our previous experience made us to think not to drag the decision longer. I too accepted after much thought.

The same day evening , my parents confirmed with me once again and informed his parents that I am willing to marry their son. 

His parents felt very happy.  But for some reason I was not ok with proceeding. I don't know why. I don't know what this feeling is. It just does not settle well with me. 

Something in my heart was saying may be he is not the right person for me. He might be a good guy, but not the one for me. I just don't know. 

All these thoughts made me paranoid. I started worrying more and cried. I told my parents that I am not ok with marrying him. 

My parents were confused. A big fight emanated between me and my parents. I am worried too for that guy. The same kind of rejection he too would face. Saying yes first and then no later on . 

How his parents would feel? How dejected he would feel? But I just can't marry for that sake out of sympathy. I really felt bad for putting my parents in this state. 

It would be difficult for them as well , to dial and say 'we are not proceeding' the immediate next day. 

After much discussion and fight, my parents too concluded to stop the proceedings. They don't want me to waste the life of another guy by marrying him without interest.

The next day, my Mom dialed them and informed about my decision. His parents started shouting very badly at my Mom. His Father even cried which broke my heart. 

They were very eagerly awaiting and was happy when we said Ok to marriage. Now that his son is back again to the same state, they felt shattered. 

Might be their son heard the conversation. He convinced his parents to cut the call and the call was cut abruptly. 

I really felt guilty for hurting him and his family. But this is what others too did to me. Were they feeling hurt or sad? no . Then why me? 

Though my mind was providing justification for my act, my heart was aching with whatever I did. They were truly deeply hurt because of me.

Never I imagined that  I would believe in Karma. My Karma was laughing at me to teach me a lesson for what I did.