Indian Marriage Meet

04 | Alliance 02

September 11 2016 Sunday

We found another marriage proposal via the matrimony. It was actually the guy's parents who first contacted us. Our parents exchanged the horoscopes and met with the astrologer. The horoscopes seemed to match and hence we decided to proceed further. 

My mom actually had 3 to 4 proposals in bulk matching my horoscope. She had them in pipeline, to go to next if the proposal rejects. Out of the 3 to 4 , we selected one 

We all mutually decided on a weekend for the marriage meet at our house. This time, my parents and myself decided to restrict the audiences only to us than calling our relatives. 

And, my mom insisted me wearing a saree than chudidhar. She has a notion that because of not wearing the saree, a good proposal has got rejected. 

Finally the day came. The groom, and his parents and paternal aunt alone are the one who came to our house. He is the only child for his parents so , it was just 3 of them.

Once the initial formalities are completed, I came out of my room and did the namaskar(greetings). 

Not even a minute has passed since I came. The groom's paternal aunt asked me to wear chudidhar as they don't have formalities of wearing saree.

My parents insisted me remaining in saree, as this meet will be only for few minutes and anyway I would change to chudidhar. Though I dislike wearing saree, I agreed to my parents this time as there is a logic.

But the guests seemed to be more strong on me wearing chudidhar. I looked at my mom , she too nodded her head , as in telling me to go change to chudidhar.

I know my mom is not ok with this behaviors' of them. I side glanced at my Father, he too had the same reaction as my mom. Not liking me changing to chudidhar.

In the next few minutes I wore chudidhar. The moment I came and sat on the mat that was spread on the floor, I was given a comment.

"your daughter looks so lean.. In saree she was looking little chubby"

Now I understood the reason , why they were consistently asking me to change to chudidhar. And for the record, they are talking as if the guy has good physique.

The guy who came to meet me, is around 6 .1 feet tall, very lean and fair complexion when compared to me. Me being lean mattered a big problem, not him being lean. What logic they have. Nonsense.

 Ignoring it for the time being , I remained tight lipped. Few minutes later, myself and the guy was asked to talk alone. I chose to go to terrace than the room.

The groom who came to meet resides in Ambattur. But he is working in an IT company in Guindy. Before agreeing for this meet, my parents thought of doing some enquiry. We don't have much contacts to do the enquiry. 

Should we do all this before the meet or after the marriage meet when things are finalized , we don't know anything. The so called relatives were not of much help in all this. 

To the present, we are in terrace. He started the conversation, as I purposefully remained silent not to take the initiation. Last time, I took the initiation and that gave a bad impression. May be few gents does not like girls taking the lead. So I remained silent. 

He asked me some general questions like, "am I first ready for marriage or not? then my job , travel and stuff like that. I replied him politely.

Then I was shot with the tricky question. " Are you ok to live in independent family?" 

I just don't know why he asked me that. Is he asking to test me whether I have intention of living  a nuclear family? or what??

Regardless of why he asked, I replied genuinely, that I prefer living in a joint family, meaning with his parents. Trust me, nuclear family thing will sound good in the initial phase of marriage life. Later on , living with in laws would be best. Especially if you have kids. 

The conversation actually went well. Though  I did not have any expectations on that guy, the way he spoke, the way his parents behaved and talked, everything seemed convincing. 

What was more surprising was, his parents told they are ok to proceed further. My parents were given their address to meet them in their house the coming weekend to discuss further. 

Hearing it we felt relived. I was relived that I don't want to encounter this marriage meet scenario again.

He did not give me his number, nor we asked his. My parents wanted to wait till the weekend and confirm before exchanging numbers. I too did not take it seriously. 

The rest of the day , we spent in discussing about what he asked and my reply to him. We discussed about who all would go to visit his house and what to talk, stuff like that.

Next day, we received a call from his Father, stating they don't want to proceed with the alliance. When asked the reason, we were told, I am too lean and short for his son.

My mother got irritated. My Father too shouted at them. Before we proceeded with seeing the horoscope match, our parents informed them about the height difference. Mine was just 5.1, whereas he is 6.1. 

It was actually the groom side, who said they don't care about the height differences and are looking for a good girl with good values , suitable for their family.

My Father asked, then why did they give false promise of everything ok yesterday. To our shock, they cut the call half way. 

Is this for real?? What are these people up to? This was another disappointment. May be they are saying this height and weight difference as an excuse to reject me? What went wrong yesterday? 

Everything seemed to be correct and going good. Was I not confident enough in answering him? Did he expected to live a nuclear family? But I can't just say ok , because he likes it or he expects it. I barely knew him nor have any feelings.

Anyway, though it hurts and gave me disappointment, I did not like them after their today's behavior.