Indian Marriage Meet

03 | Alliance 1

The horoscope did not match and had only 4 out of 10 for Sreeja and the alliance. Hearing it was a big relief to Sreeja and her family.

The relief was for few minutes only when they thought about what to say to Girija mami.

This entire process is new for Raman and Dhanam. They consulted with few elders in the family on whether to proceed with this alliance or not even if the horoscope is not matching fully. 

"See Dhanam, you have just started with the alliance process and why do you want to rush in to something which is not proper and does not give satisfaction to you all.

Say horoscope is not matching and start with the next one " advised on of the elder lady who is a relative to Dhanam.

Though hesitant, Dhanam informed Girija mami about the horoscope not matching. Girija mami was little furious when they rejected.

"you people are well educated and still seeing horoscope match. It is all not needed nowadays. Look at the family background ,attitude and behaviour of the groom that is what is needed most"

Girija mami literally gave a lecture along with shouting for rejecting her proposal.

How much ever she tried to convince, no one including Sreeja were happy or ok to think about next steps with the proposal. So Raman and Dhanam gave a outright answer finally of not proceeding. 

From then on, needless to say, Girija mami's attitude towards Sreeja family was different. Neither Sreeja or her parents bothered about that and spent their days. 

Sreeja's parents decided to register her details in the local matrimony group which gets published in newspapers and special edition books meant for marriage. 

May 16 2016 Monday

It was election day in TamilNadu. After long search we found a match and our parents mutually decided to meet on May 16. Lets name him as 'Alliance1'.

Initially my mom suggested a different auspicious date. But the mother of 'Alliance1' suggested having it on the election day , as her son would not get leave on working day.

It was decided to have our parents meet them at home in the morning and then on the same day they would make visit to our house in the evening.

Since our houses are kind of 5 stops away, my parents agreed to it. I was asked to wear saree for the meet. My mom and few other relatives who came forced me to wear saree. But I remained stubborn and chose to wear only chudidhar.

Truth to be told, I have an inferior complex that I don't look good in saree because I was more lean. I dressed myself in a neat chudidhar. No make up. Simple hairstyle.

The guy, his father and mother came inside our house. Even before they sat, his mother asked my mom whether I wore saree. When my mom replied no , she seemed to be slightly disappointed( by this time she had decided that I don't respect elders and I have to be rejected)

Then she was talking with my parents enquiring about their native place why we moved from out native to Chennai and so on.. Later I was asked to meet the guy and his parents .I touched their feet and sat down for the interview.

I was shot with questions as usual. A typical thing in Indian arranged marriage setting.

Do you know to cook?

When I nodded saying no for the above, she immediately saw my grandma asked and why she did not teach me anything.

Do you know to sing? -No
Do you perform pujas at home? - Yes
Do you have religious beliefs and visit temple? - Yes . I do visit temple twice a week.
Can you manage both work and home after marriage? - not knowing what to answer I was smiling and nodding my head in both ways.
How do you travel to office? Don't they provide office bus for you? - This was the only question asked by the guy's father who was remaining silent for all the time.

I was actually feeling very suffocated and nervous to be surrounded by around 15 members. Even though most of them are my relatives, I was super nervous.

Then myself and the guy had the usual talks. Whole time, he was addressing me in singluar and not with respect like 'Nga'.

I did not take that as a big issue, because that is how guys would address their wife when they marry. To be frank, I actually had an interest in the guy which made me ignore that. Though he was quite tall with good physique, he is less in complexion when compared to me.

But that does not bother me. I liked him. I don't know it was just a mere attraction or infatuation that started when my parents decided to consider him for marriage meet.

Everything was knew to me. I have not prepared any questions to ask. But one thing I wanted to make it clear was that I will support my parents financially after marriage.

I don't think he was ok with that, with the expression he gave. Still I had hope. How much ever I deny, I knew that this alliance would not work out as his mom herself would have decided to reject the proposal.

We then came out of the room. While leaving, the guy's mother told us that they will let us know the result once they go back and home and said both the parties should accept whatever decision is made. (by this time it is confirmed that they have rejected me)

Next day came the expected result that I was rejected. Reason, I was not answering confidently.

My mom literally started crying and was feeling very bad. More than their rejection ,informing about the proposal to all our relatives and inviting them for the marriage meet was the most embarrassing one.

I felt very embarrassed, hurt by this as this arranged marriage meeting was all new to me.

Being a shy person who tries to avoid any embarrassing situations I wanted to cr. But I controlled myself and was acting as if I was least bothered about it (just not to make my mom feel worse about this)

I did not want to tell anything about this to anyone of my teammates and was suffering inside. Sometimes I would go inside the office bathroom and cry. As stated earlier, I had an infatuation or crush at that guy.

I was hoping they would change their decision anytime soon. I was even madly looking out for him every time I travel to office. I need to go to my office after crossing his office.

It sounds insane, I know. But this feeling felt like a one side love failure. My parents then decided to hold on to the marriage discussions for next 3 months.

I too needed time to accept whatever has happened.