Bluebell Review Chamber [CLOSED]

જ Revenge And Psychotic Love જ ☾Sri☽

Title: Revenge and Psychotic Love

Author: 1234vidhi

Reviewer: Sri_999

Title:3/5

The title makes sense and then makes no sense at all. It throws light on the fact that the story is about revenge and obsession but then it does not show any connection between those. It might make a few readers disinterested in the story. Also, the spelling of "psychotic" is wrong so please correct it.

Cover: 5/5

The cover is nice. I like the font and the colour scheme you used. It compliments the theme of the book very well, it is very aesthetic to look at too.

Blurb: 6/10

Okay, so we have a lot to talk about. The blurb does its work of intriguing the readers to read the story, it really does but the way you have written the blurb is weird.

Boy(Romantically); Girl (without any emotion) etc. looks unpleasant and unprofessional. You should explain the character's feelings and facial expressions descriptively using different words and a proper sentence structure, using () and writing the particular emotion they feel just destroys the reason for writing completely which is to express. You should write so that people see what they are reading.

Opening Chapter: 7/10

There are a lot of grammatical errors in the first chapter and the use of unnecessary exclamation marks and ellipses. For example-

"like aaj kisi ki shaadi ho but naaah!!!"

you don't need to put so many exclamation marks as one works.

You have used a phrase- "she said lovely" which incorrect it should be (from what I could comprehend) "she said lovingly"

And these are just two examples, there are a ton of grammatical errors which are visible very clearly. I suggest you heavily edit it or even take the help of an editor.

Flow/Plot: 7/10

The plot is interesting. I have to give you that but the number of mistakes makes it annoying and hard for me to continue. The flow is decent at some point in the story but then suddenly it gets really confusing and I have to reread the chapter again and again for it to make sense.

Writing Style: 6/10

I like that you use both Hindi and English while writing to keep the readers engaged and I believe that it is very helpful but again the number of grammatical errors present in each sentence is a big turn-off. I can clearly see that the chapters are not proofread at all so I suggest that you should at least reread the chapter you write at least 3-4 times to be sure that there are no errors. As I read your story I couldn't connect to it at all because for me it felt as if a few words had been scattered on my screen. I was just reading and couldn't see what was happening in the story in front of my eyes. I hope you understand what I mean to say. You have to SHOW the readers what you have written, not just write and leave it for them to read.

Overall: 34/50

I will give you a tip, just let your emotions guide you and let them flow into your writing, when you start doing this you'll see a huge change in what you write. You need a lot of practice I'll admit that but I know you have heard of the saying "Practice makes a man perfect". Don't be discouraged after reading the review or think that I was too harsh, just reflect on what I have said and correct your mistakes and soon your story will be great. Thank you for choosing me as your reviewer, I hope this review was helpful.