Bluebell Review Chamber [CLOSED]

જ Creatures in Depth જ ☾Carmi☽

Title- Creatures In Depth
Author: june_berrin
Reviewer: Read-aholic2006

(NOTE: This review is merely based on the first eight available chapters of this book.) 

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Title: 10/10 

 It's a dark, mysterious, and uncluttered title. 

 Cover: 8/10 

 The dark-blue color scheme is attractive and ominous. The mermaid in the center is a little incongruous due to its doll-like appearance. The font color of the title and author's name almost blends in with the background, so I suggest that it's changed to a stark white color, making it stand out more. 

 Blurb: 10/10 

 I spotted a few grammatical errors, but other than that, the blurb is very well-written and intriguing. Readers already get a hint of Cerelia's ruthlessness toward the sirens. In the second last chapter, we're introduced to the turning point of the plot—the sirens are no longer the ones being hunted; they're the ones doing the hunting, thirsty for revenge. The blurb is then finalized with one dark, spine-chilling sentence. 

 Creativity/Originality: 10/10 

 There are a few noticeable creative aspects featured in the story, one of which is the innovative weaponry. The inventions include scarlet webs and a unique, sharp thread made from the saliva of a rare insect.

Plot/Flow: 17/20  

The introduction of the story solely deserves its own throne. It immediately captured my attention: Every pirate claims to be the scourge of the seven seas, but none claim the eight... The chapters are slick and smooth, so one doesn't have to drag their eyes over infinite lines of dizzying text. 

 However, I feel as though there are a few missing puzzle pieces. Firstly, I don't exactly understand what happened to Daine; there seemed to be no explanation for her sudden bloodthirsty nature. Had she been infected by a siren or had she always been victim to a secretly sadistic mindset? 

 Secondly, the author should provide readers with more information regarding the terminology. For example, I assumed that a "scale" referred to the flake that grew out of a siren's tail (as in a fish scale), but apparently, a scale is perceived as a baby siren. 

 Lastly, the primary worldbuilding of the story seems almost nonexistent or shapeless. Since the author excludes sufficient details on the environment, I advise her to mention the setting of a certain scene (for example: "We sat in the living room," or "He stood in the lab, hunched over a small workbench."). It is important for writers to familiarize their audience with the surroundings and effectively transport them to a different world. 

 Characters: 10/10 

 We are introduced to several characters, which include Cerelia's group of siren-hunting friends. At this point in the story, the characterization is still very undeveloped, so I can't give much feedback on this aspect. 

 But readers learn that Cerelia is very cut off from her emotions and tries to distance her mind from her heart. It's not that she's completely cold-hearted, but she doesn't want to destroy her composure with possible breakdowns. And the death of her family had planted a seed of bitterness in her heart. So she's a very traumatized character—and we all love those, don't we?

Writing style/grammar: 7/10 

 The presence of grammatical errors is unavoidable. A few of them include the omission of commas, using the wrong preposition or tense of a word, comma splices, a pleonasm, and concord errors. 

 The writer makes excellent use of her figurative language: alliteration, similes, and personification—"The air was tense and wary, as if it was holding its breath..." or "The wind blew hard, and the moon hid behind the clouds, as if it didn't want to witness what was about to happen." 

 But this beautiful imagery is punched in the face by a few unrefined descriptions: 

 As he carefully arranged them, delicately carrying each within the fingertips of his callous hands that had invented these bizarre weapons. At the same, the hands that held the most blood of us all. 

 I would prefer it if the aforementioned paragraph read as follows: 

 He delicately carried each one within his calloused hands—the hands which had invented these bizarre weapons. And those very hands carried the most blood out of us all, stained with the lives of those aquatic abominations. They deserved what was coming for them. 

 Here's another suggestion:

 I walked the greenery lined cobbled path as it wounded and twisted itself like a slithering snake. Observing the once white buildings now tainted yellow and aged with the years still have maintained their vibrant details I passed time. 

 The excerpt above could be changed to: I

 walked down the cobbled path, which slithered and twisted its way past beautiful greenery. I observed the once-white buildings that sat on the pavements, their walls now stained with years of negligence, yet somehow still maintaining their vibrant details.

Genre relevance: 10/10 

 The inclusion of the deadly mythical creatures—sirens—and strange weaponry evince the popular sci-fi and fantasy genres. 

 Reading enjoyment: 7/10 

 I had trouble with interpreting some sentences and the grammatical errors interfered with my reading enjoyment. Other than that, the story itself is fascinating and I appreciated the slight gore in the first chapter in which a siren brutally murdered one of the minor characters. 

 Overall thoughts and extra comments: 89/100 

The writer would mainly have to work on her grammar and improve the intelligibility of her sentences. She should also tweak some of her descriptions and start to vividly illustrate the setting within her audience's mind. I like this story idea and would love to see this book skyrocket to the top of people's reading lists. This book has great potential and the writer, I can tell, is very skilled and imaginative.