Foster Kids

Chapter 18 : Late night talks

Chapter 18

Ross POV    

"I just started feeling like I couldn't breathe, so I just tried to wait and see if it would go away, but it wouldn't, and I just kept freaking out more and more because it was getting harder and harder to breathe. So I went to the bathroom to just be by myself and see if I could calm myself down again. I've only had like 1 panic attack before this one, so I don't really know how to deal with it."

"Don't you help Riker when he has them?" Mark asked.

"Yes, but I didn't understand how hard it actually is to calm down when it's happening for real. I just thought he was overreacting. It's hard. Way harder than I thought. Like you know you need to take deep breaths, but it's so hard to breathe that you just want to keep hyperventilating anyway. I sat down on the floor in the bathroom because I felt very lightheaded, and Riker's passed out before. So I didn't want to fall and get hurt or hit my head. I didn't pass out, but I just couldn't seem to calm down."

"Do you know what triggered it?"

"I have no idea. I was playing video games with my friends when it happened. I know certain stuff triggers Riker, but I also know that sometimes he just has them for no reason. I think that's what made it harder to calm down. I didn't even know why I was panicking, so I was panicking about panicking. One of my friends came to check on me when I didn't come back and found me freaking out. I still couldn't calm down, so he got his mom. She brought me some water and sat with me on the bathroom floor for a little while. All of my friends kept looking at me. And I feel embarrassed about them seeing me like that."

"Don't be embarrassed. It's not your fault. I'm sure they were just worried about you."

"I just don't really like crying in front of people. Riker does it all the time, but I really don't like doing it."

"How are you feeling now?"

"Just really tired. If I keep getting panic attacks, could you take me to the doctor and get me something to help? Like Riker has?"

"Sure. Anything you need, just let me know, ok?"

"Yeah. Thanks."

I hugged Mark tight.

"Thanks for picking me up and driving me back."

"Of course, Ross."

"Can I go to bed now?"

"Yeah. Do you need anything else?"

"No, I think I'm ok. But thanks."

"Ok. Goodnight, Ross."

"Goodnight."

Mark turned off my light. I got under my covers and laid down. I was getting worried about this whole anxiety thing. I can just get panic attacks at random times for no reason now? That's not good.

Riker POV

Mark came back down a while later. And he sat down on the couch beside me.

"Is Ross ok?" I asked.

"Yeah, I think so. Even though you guys are brothers, you're both so different."

"What do you mean?"

"He talked so much. Don't take this in a bad way. But it was very easy to understand how he was feeling and what was going on because he told me what happened. With you, I feel like it's a guessing game each time."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. That's just how you are. And that's ok."

"I just don't want to cause you any more trouble than I've already caused."