13. Teeter of uncertainty

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I was enchanted in place, enjoying the early morning hours. For the first time in my life I was able to just relax and absorb the beauty and essence of life in the forest, with its fresh moist air, and the sweet sounds of peaceful melodies.
  Until I'm awakened from my daydreaming by the rustling of leaves, I was brought back to reality as the silvery wolf stretched and shook its fur.

He sniffed the air and glanced at me, huddled in the corner of the overhang shelter.  His large body turned  towards me but I raised my hands to signal nonthreatening to step back.

The Wolf freezes at my actions and flicks his tongue out slightly almost as if it was grinning.

Once again, I remind myself that this is not a playful pet.  It was a beast, and a very large violent beast at that. 

With its ears pricked up, he watched for a moment, then yawned, looked towards the forest, and suddenly rushed into the thick, pine trees towering high in the blue sky.

I blankly stared at the spot where he disappeared.

Did he leave me? .......again?

No no, he'll come back, I'll just rest and wait.
Omigosh! What if he doesn't come back?... I don't know where I am. As I rocked myself back and forth, I felt my heart hammering.
 
Right now, I'm too weak to venture out in those woods, especially alone, who knows what might roam through that forest. Or even worse they catch me, dragging me back to that hell.

 I looked down, inspecting the damage. I had serious bruises and cuts, too many to count.  I was covered in mud, blood and urine which was shameful to admit,  I must had peed myself more than once.
On the bright side, I was away from those monsters.
.......

After a long while waiting for the Wolf to return, I started to panic. I hated to admit it but I was dependent on this wolf.  I didn't know how to survive in these surroundings but to my surprise, the Wolf peaked its head out from the nearby trees carrying something in its mouth.  He struts up to the rock, head held high and lays a dead rabbit at my feet.
With wide eyes I look at the poor creature and wonder is this for me. How does he expect me to eat it?

" T-Thanks,... i-it's a n-nice gesture but I c-c-can't eat it ...l-like that." I started stammering with my face feeling hot.
The Wolf gives a low growl.
I immediately move to nudge the rabbit, examining how to eat it. I turned it over and unexpectedly the rabbit jumped up and hopped away.

Jumping out my skin, I screamed, completely forgetting there was a beast of a wolf at my feet. 

"Are you fucking kidding me!

You gave me a live rabbit." 

I've  never killed anything in my life... besides bugs ... oh and the guard, but that wasn't the same thing.

He flattened his ears and growled deeply at me, baring his canines.
"No, I'm sssorry."
With my hands raised up again I praised " good boy!  Your such a good wolfy! Stay!"
The Wolf tilts his head to the side with his ears up, giving me a hard stare.

Wolf

After having a full  breakfast, my wolf decides to bring back some for the little human.  Beaming with pride, he saunters out of the trees with the rabbit that he captured. He  climbs the rock and leaves it at her feet. She looks at it with wide eyes and with fear in her voice, tells us she can't eat it.
My wolf's not happy with her rejection of his gift. He lets out a low growl of warning.
She pokes at it and then tries to turn it when it wakes up and jumps away.
She's left stunned and yells at us for gifting her a live rabbit.

Fuck!  That didn't go well at all. 

Still in control, my wolf doesn't understand humans and their needs.
Feeling disrespected, he bares his teeth at her, to show his dominance.

I couldn't believe what she did next.
— praising us like if we were a fuckin dog. 
"A dog, I'm nothing like a dog."
I cocked my head and looked at her sternly —seriously this human's mocking us?
 
Uff! I puffed  hot air out of my nose and turned towards the forest. 

Aargh! "I'm done playing with this human, I'm going home, she can find her own way."

Just as I was walking through the trees, I heard a yelp as she was scampering behind us trying to keep up.

I glanced over my shoulder and saw the discomfort she masked with every step she took. Her posture betrayed the weariness she had deep in her bones. She would surely be snuffed out quickly, in this harsh wilderness. But I had to commend her tenacious nature.

 I'll lead her to the creek so she can get some water, but that's it. 

She's lucky "this dog" is even doing that - ignorant human.

Yet, I had no idea what hearted me to keep helping her.  Maybe it's the intention of putting myself at peace.
But my father's words " the sacrifice of the weak is for the good of  unity." Raided my doubts.

..........

"Sometimes we're called to someone just to be present and keep watch, not to fix them or change them.".  — Anonymous

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