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Chapter 20

[Mabel]

2 years later

Time is such a funny thing, I thought as I admired the huge bouquet of roses Kibum had got me for our third anniversary. Who would have thought we'd get this far when I met him as a tourist all those years ago?

In that time we'd met each other's family and friends, I'd graduated and found a good job, we'd been back and forth between Korea and the UK, I'd seen him perform both with and without Shinee, and I'd learned Korean. It had been quite the journey.

"Ready babe?"

Kibum waited for me to finish putting my dress on. It was a long red number he'd picked out for me.

"Can you do up the back?"

He came over and zipped it up, moving my hair and planting a kiss on my shoulder.

"You look so sexy," he whispered in my ear.

"Kibum, save it for after the meal." I chuckled as he kissed my neck. "Come on, we don't wanna be late."

We were eating somewhere very fancy, so he was dressed accordingly in a suit.

"After you," he said as he held the door open for me. He pulled my chair out too and ordered some champagne for the table.

"To us." He smiled and we clinked our glasses together. "May we have many more years together."

"I certainly hope so."

Honestly, I couldn't see myself with anyone else.

"I love you."

"Love you too, jagiya."

We had a delicious dinner before going home. Kibum could barely wait until we'd got through the door to start trying it on. I was so glad Tasha was often at her friend's house.

Hastily taking off my dress, I made quick work of his shirt and trousers as he lay me down on the bed, planting kisses anywhere he could. I could feel how much he wanted it, and frankly, so did I in that moment. Most of that night was spent consummating our love.

_____

Kibum had been gone a little more than a month when I first noticed something was up. I wasn't sure what it was, I just felt different. And then smells at work started affecting me, and I began throwing up in the morning.

"I don't know what it is," I said to Tasha one morning when we were in the kitchen waiting for the kettle to boil.

She gave me one of her usual poker face looks. "Have you tried a pregnancy test?"

I nearly choked. "What?"

"Everything you're describing sounds like pregnancy. I mean I've never been pregnant, but I've been around enough pregnant people to know."

"I-I don't-"

"Don't worry, I'll come with you to get it if you want."

I didn't know what to say. I hadn't considered this possibility, but now that she'd said that, the pieces clicked together and it was so obvious.

"Okay, should we get it before or after work?"

"Let's just get it now, or you'll think about it all day."

We made a quick trip to our local drugstore, where Tasha easily found the pregnancy tests and picked one up.

Once we were back home though, I wasn't sure I wanted to know.

"I don't know," I started. "What if I'm just sick?"

"Then it'll be negative." Tasha shrugged. "Anyway, I need to go to work so let me know, yeah?"

"Okay."

She left and I went to the bathroom to take it.

I've never had such a difficult time trying to pee in my life. My hands were shaking as I picked up the test, scared to turn it over.

Come on, you can do this. I took a deep breath as I turned it over.

Pregnant.

God damn it.

_____

It was all I could think of at work. What did this mean? Was it a false positive? But most of all, how would I tell Kibum?

I didn't know how he'd react to this. Did he want a family at this point? I knew he did one day, but he was still so busy as an idol that I wasn't sure this would be good news to him.

As soon as I finished work I bought two more pregnancy tests and took them at home. All they did was confirm the first one.

"So I was right then," said Tasha. "Congrats."

"I don't know if I should rejoice. What about Kibum?"

"Oh come on, he loves the pants off you. It'll be fine." She patted my shoulder.

As I lay in bed that night, I did feel some happiness. After all, I'd always wanted to be a mother. I was in a good place in life. The main thing I was worried about was everything to do with Kibum.

As if on cue, he called me. He was clearly on break from a rehearsal.

"Hey, what's up?"

I tried to remain composed. "Hey, it's been a long day at work. I'm tired."

"I can tell. It's been pretty long here too, but I think we've got the dance down."

"Good." I smiled. "Hey, do you think you can come back to the UK soon?"

"Wasn't I there a month ago?" He smirked and raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, but can you come back? I want to see you again."

He chuckled. "I don't know."

"Please?" I felt desperate. I didn't want to tell him the news over the phone.

"Okay, I'll think about it. You really wanna see me, huh?"

"Yeah."

He smiled. "I love you."

"Love you too."

I hoped I'd done enough to convince him. Now to think of how to tell him the news.