Still Beating

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Every time I visit Thomas and Ava's new house, I find myself falling more and more in love with the place. It's modern yet homey, high-end but livable and it suits them perfectly. Hell, it suits me too.

Hayden has accompanied me on nearly every visit here. Thomas and Hayden get along better than I ever could have imagined, and Ava is just a wonderful person to have in your corner. We've spent many nights cooking, playing board games, and regaling the Clarkes with stories about Jonah. Ava has a penchant for adult rated card games, but Richard and Karen are with us tonight, so we're keeping the conversation more PG this time.

"You guys have added some new pieces since I've been here last," Karen says, glancing around the living room with a glass of white wine in her hand.

"Yeah. It looks like Pottery Barn threw up in here," Thomas says.

Ava shoots him a look from the dining area where she's setting the table.

"Clearly, some people just lack taste."

"Hey, I'm marrying you, aren't I?"

Richard grimaces good-naturedly and Hayden laughs.

"Speaking of marriage, how's wedding planning coming along?"

Ava and Karen indulge my question, while the guys chat about the state's two hockey teams. Planning a wedding seems like a lot, even though Ava insists she wants it relatively low key. The timer on Ava's phone sounds, and I offer to help bring the meal to the table. On our way through the hallway, something catches me eye.

"Oh, you've added some photos."

"Yeah, take a look."

There are several photos on the wall, most of which contain Thomas and Ava. There's a picture of who I assume are Ava's parents based on their resemblance, and a few of Richard and Karen. In the middle, there's one of Ethan. I'm standing next to him.

"We wanted photos of the whole family," Ava says quietly.

I nod, because I don't trust myself to speak. I remember the day this was taken. It was a late summer barbeque at the Clarkes. I remember feeling excited to start a new school year and that Ethan was dreading it. I didn't understand that; he was so popular at school.

I blink a few times to steady myself. There's a comfortable silence between Ava and I as we set the table. We don't even need to call the family over; the wafting aromas did the trick. There's a happy quiet as we dig in.

"The mashed potatoes are delicious," Richard says.

Karen beams. "I'm so glad you think so. It's a new recipe I tried for the first time today."

A funny feeling erupts in my stomach. Ethan loved his mother's mashed potatoes. She never strayed from the way he liked them. And now – a new recipe.

"They are great," I tell her.

Thomas and Ava compliment Karen on the dish too. Like me, they must sense the significance of the simple potatoes. Hayden nods in agreement. He's being quiet tonight. Not in a rude way, and probably not enough for the others to notice, but I do.

That's why I offer to do the dishes and ask Hayden to help me. The Clarkes are in the living room with the red velvet cupcakes I brought. I made them this morning at Hayden's.

Hayden is washing and I'm rinsing. Our elbows gently make contact.

"So, what's up?"

"Hmm?"

I lower the plate onto the drying rack and pause.

"Come on, Hayden, I know something must be on your mind."