Still Beating

Chapter Twelve

The lines in my textbook look like they're blurring together. I've been on this page for the past ten minutes, but it feels like nothing has been sinking in. The heavy Introduction to Law textbook has been sprawled across my mattress the entire day and I'm only halfway through the chapter. I close the Word document on my computer and stick the highlighter on the page I'm on to keep my place when I close the book.

I walk to the side of my room and look out the window. That's the best thing about my dorm. There are windows that actually look out to something nice. I see the path leading to the main cafeteria at Columbus, which is decorated with trees on either side. The first week of October has come and gone and most of the leaves have already turned warm browns and oranges. It's five o'clock on a Saturday, and there aren't too many people in my view. A few couples walk along the cobblestones, hand in hand, bundled in jackets and hats. It's fresh outside, and gone are the happy college students that throw Frisbees to each other or sprawl on the grass, having picnics.

My stomach grumbles, bringing my attention away from the window. I could fix myself a peanut butter sandwich, since I always keep a loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter in my room, but I want something more substantial. I gather my jacket and slip on jeans, having decided to head over to the Kelsey Cafeteria.

I open my door and nearly jump out of my skin when I see someone waiting outside for me in the empty hallway.

"Maggie!" I say, recovering my breath. "What are you doing here?"

She's standing in the middle of the hallway and by the startled look on her face, it looks like I caught her in mid-pace. How long has she been out here?

"I've come to talk to you," she says. Her red hair is in a bun on top of her head and the colour matches the tip of her nose. "But I see you're on your way out, so I can come back later or..."

I wave her off. "No, no. It's okay. Come in."

I hadn't bothered to lock the door yet, so with a simple twist of the knob there's two people in my room, when it's only ever been me.

Maggie stands by my desk, looking uncomfortable. I know she's Maggie, but she's still a guest, so I offer her some water and a pack of fruit gummies, and she denies both.

I sit on my bed cross-legged and wait for her to talk; because clearly, she came here for something. But then seconds turns into minutes and I can't help but break the tense silence.

"It's a little chilly out, isn't it? You can really tell its fall."

Despite the awkwardness, I smile. I've always loved the fall time. My smile falters when I remember Ethan's birthday takes place this time of year. So does mine.

When Maggie finally does speak to me, it's not what I was expecting.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" she asks quietly. I can tell it takes her a lot of courage to ask the question.

"Sorry?" I say, confused. "Would you prefer it if I'm not?"

"No, no. Of course not. Although, I would deserve it."

My face softens as I look at the vulnerable girl in front of me. We're more alike than we realize. We beat ourselves up and get a thrill of showing people that we're better off friendless. But we're not.

"I don't know," I answer honestly. "Maybe because we haven't always been the nicest to each other, and I don't think it's gotten us very far."

Finally, Maggie's body relaxes and she takes a seat in the plush chair at my desk.

"Yeah, you could say that again." She smiles at me, and her cheeks blush slightly. "But for what it's worth, I'm really sorry for what happened on the weekend. Both what he—" Maggie shudders slightly, "did and for what I said. Liam told me what really went down, not that I needed convincing, anyways."