The Wings of the Beautifully Fallen

Chapter 30: Illiana

Chapter 30: Illiana

My fingers brushed over the rough strings on the bracelet that my siblings had made for me. The brown strings weaved together, tying around each other, hugging each other. This was the first time that I had looked at this bracelet since I had arrived and I could not figure out why. It had only been such a short time, but it felt like an eternity, a lifetime. Everything was so different than what I had expected, what I believed would happen here.

The children's laughter echoed in my ears and a small smile played on my lips. They seemed so happy, so life-like, so innocent. Many of them suffered losing their parents from death and yet, they seemed so happy. How could they be that way? How could they not be sad or in pain? I sighed softly as my eyes lifted from the bracelet and staring out the window to the darkened sky.

I will save you!

My brother's words sounded in my head and I tensed, the memories of the pain and panic in his voice swirling in my mind. They all believed that I would be harmed, that I would suffer. Leo had sworn that he would come and save me, that he would come for me. But does he need to? Do I really need saving from Reginald? The man that had sworn just last night that he would never hurt me. Was I a fool for believing him? For wanting to trust him?

I believed him, foolish or not, I believed him. I wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe that he was telling the truth, that my father had lied.

My fingers tightened around the rough strings of the bracelet, holding it tighter, hoping that they were well. That my siblings were still safe and that I could see them once more. I wanted that more than anything. I wanted to hug them, to tell them the truth about the world.

Tears started to slide down my cheeks and my fingers rose, gently pressing against my skin and feeling the streams that trailed down my cheeks. Why? Why was I crying? There was no reason for it, at least I did not think there was.

But there was. I missed them, all of them. I missed little Lillian who would crawl into my bed almost every night. I missed Leo and his crazy thoughts that he had to take over and protect all of us. I missed the two groups of twins, Alison and Victor and Nathan and Joshua. Then finally, Mathew, the kid sandwiched between the twins.

I knew that I had far to many siblings, more than a couple should ever have. I understand that and I wish I knew why there were so many of us, but it would not change anything. Not for me. I loved them, all of them, even if I was the only one who could remember them, could tell the differences between them. They were my siblings, my little siblings.

Not that I really felt like a sister, not with them. Only with Leo, only with him did I ever really feel like a sister. The others, I was more of a mother and that made it almost worse to be away from them. To be away from the insanity was heartbreaking and I wished that I could be there again.

I guess that was why I was crying. It was because I missed them.

A gentle knock caught my attention, tearing me back into the present. I turned towards the door, watching it as it creaked open and Reginald slid inside.

"Illiana." His voice was soft, as always, as he smiled at me, his eyes studying me. "May we talk?"

"About what?" I questioned, my eyes watching him as he walked forward, his gaze settled on me.

"Well first, why are you crying?" He asked me, his hand brushing against my cheek, wiping the tears away. His gaze was gentle, as always, it never really changed. He always cared about how I was feeling, if I was afraid or sad or anything else. It had only been a few days and, yet, I already knew that. But would he understand why I was feeling this way? Could he actually understand what was going on inside of me even when I was struggling to?