DAZED

Chapter 8: Moonlit

Days had gone by without a word or a contact from Alexis, I longed and waited for it yet somehow, it felt like waiting hopelessly. Still, me having to initiate a communication made me feel like I was trying too hard when in the first place, I still don't know how her life has been going till the day we saw each other. It's been five whole years and a lot could possibly happen within that timeframe.

'Does she have someone?'

'Did she move on already? It's been five years. Maybe she did'

"Sam!", brandy half-exclaimed interrupting my thoughts and unanswered questions. I looked at him confused and sighed.

"I've been calling you and you were in daze, it's Friday, do you have plans tonight?", he asked enthusiastically, his eyes glimmering in hope I'd say that I have none.

"It depends on what you're going to ask me", I replied jokingly.

"We're thinking of going down the pub for some drinks and karaoke if you're up to it?"

'We (I mean you people) just drowned yourselves in alcohol last Monday!'

'Still, why not, I need to drink and get the thoughts of her out of my head'

"Yeah, sure, why not", he gave a full smile, suppressing his transparent excitement and started to fix his things.

The bar was packed when we arrived, filled with sweaty people dancing their heart's out with the rhythm. We were led to the second floor where private rooms were located, the closed quarters silenced the blaring sound down below. We were few, just some young colleagues whose life at home was probably lonesome, so we all decided to partake in such a youthful life. Some I knew and others unintroduced.

The mood was going smoothly, while we sat and kept to ourselves, simply worrying about our drinks that's coming short and what to sing next. Brandy was a great talker as usual, spewing things about his personal life that shouldn't be possibly given out to strangers, or co-workers whom he's not well acquainted to. In an hour or so, I've come to know that his ex-wife is a total bitch whom he married blindly at twenty-two and divorced two years later. His parents died in a plane crash and he apparently inherited a huge sum of money but he wanted to work as a journalist so that was how he landed his job and so on and on.

He was clearly drunk by the time I felt my ears ringing, both from the loud speakers of the karaoke and his high volume voice, still talking about random things on his life. Once his eyes started to flutter and his head rested at the arms of the chair, I sneaked out, holding the can of beer, towards the empty terrace. It was rather cold to my liking but the feeling of alcohol hitting my nerves made it seem warmer.

The night sky was bright that night, filled with a few stars and a full moon, though partly covered by the clouds, it still shined brightly. I looked up sighing and smiling, admiring how it's light still managed to shine through the dark grey clouds.

"Beautiful, isn't it?", someone spoke from behind and cleared their throat. In fact, a very familiar one.

My mind stopped functioning for a moment but my heart started to run wild, my breath hitched and my mouth started to form a smile. Of course, it had to be her. It was a minute of silence, but I could certainly feel her gaze on me and I wondered,

'Is she hesitating?'

I could feel myself shiver, I wouldn't even know what surely caused it if it was the cold night breeze or her, staring at my back. A rustle was heard and a blazer draped around my shoulders, the warmth was felt and her perfume that smelt the same five years back.

"You didn't change it", I suddenly spoke without thinking. Gazing towards her figure that stood in the dimly lit railings. There was a moment of silence, then she sighed, looking at me, her golden blue eyes shining in the dark which looked almost like the moon itself. She gave half a smile, her eyes lingering for a moment then she looked away, sipping her drink.

"Changed what?", she asked, still looking away.

"Your perfume", I replied blinking a few times, wondering if that was a bit too personal.

"And your drink, still on the rocks", I added looking away into the streets, brightly lit as cars pass by every now and then.

"Yeah, I guess, some things never really change", she replied after a long deep breath.

'What about your heart and what it longs for? Did it change?'

"How about yours? How is life treating you?", she asked, maybe, sounding a bit curious or just, rather, making a conversation.

"Good, I guess. Graduated with decent grades, landed my first job and will soon write my very first article", I answered boringly, downing the rest of my beer and rested my elbow on the cold steel railings.

"Decent? You're humble enough. I bet it was really above decent", she chuckled looking down at her shoes. I hummed at her remark, cutting short the conversation and once again a comfortable silence ensued.

All that could be heard was the coming and going of cars, the drunks talking loudly hailing for a cab and the laughter that was coming by the terrace diagonal to where we stood.

She thought I couldn't see it, how her mouth would open and later close, her expression giving away her thoughts of unsureness. I waited for it, I waited for the words to come out but nothing came. She was simply silent, gazing every now and then at my direction.

"What?", I finally asked smiling and looking at her curiously. She turned to face me, her cheeks flushed as I am, as she returned a smile.

"Nothing", she said laughing at herself.

"Actually, I wanted to ask if there is already someone in your life", she continued and stared at me as I tried to find words in between my thoughts.

"Nevermind, don't answer that", she chuckled and looked away, her hands finding its way to her pockets.

"There isn't", I answered abruptly.

Her mouth formed an 'oh' but no sound came out.

'Is that a positive thing?', I wondered, looking at her intently when it was cut short when I heard my name getting called out at the end of the hall.

"That's my cue", I said still looking at her and started to walk inside as slowly as I could go, hoping she would say something before I was out of sight.

"Can I at least get your number? I promised you tea but I don't know how to contact you", she spoke before I could even take my third step. Definitely, she forced her words out by the way she gasped.

"I use the same one", I knew in my mind she still have it. She smiled reassured and looked at me warmly as I looked away.

'She still got that soft spot for me?!', I screamed internally, remembering that same warm look she always gave me years ago.

"Maybe, just maybe, this means hope", I whispered to myself, looking over at a now a bit sober Brandy.

Brandy smiled playfully as one other man dragged him out off the room, he looked at me and gestured to my shoulders, realizing that I was still wearing Alexis' blazer. I looked back and found no figure, just an empty terrace.

'You're drunk and still this good with details?'

'I should give it back another time. Yes, there is another time'