DAZED

Chapter 6: Call out my name

The last four months, I never saw any sign of Jade inside or outside campus, it was like she vanished or simply chose to take the opposite way whenever she sees me coming. It was formidable that us being friends was not an option, I caused her too much pain and the affection was still present to even consider bumping into each other and not feel an ounce of sadness and pain.

Graduation day was the only time I've heard and saw her. She looked well but thinner than the last time I saw her. Her face though, regaining a little joyfulness and color.

"Damon, Jade L.!", all cheered, whistled and clapped. I couldn't comprehend how well known she is among all the Liberal Arts students. I stood and clapped, happiness filling my heart as I watched her claim her diploma.

It was the last time I saw her. Surely, I would miss her, she was and will still be a part of me like she was through the time we spent together, valuable, worthy to be treasured forever.

After graduation, my sister asked me of my plans repeatedly, well enough, I don't have any stored answer yet, so I went silent for a moment, thinking of the right words to answer such a very complex question,

"Honestly, I don't know", it was all I could say. She sighed, looking at me in distraught.

"You know, I have a friend whose brother works at an entertainment downtown, she said she could recommend you to him. Maybe, start there. Anyways you're quite good with pen and paper", she stated, sipping on a glass of red wine.

"That would be great", I replied watching her down the rest of her drink and I did the same.

"Any thoughts about further education?", she questioned pouring a stronger drink this time.

'Woah! When did she drink hard? Did she become an alcoholic or something?'

"I was actually thinking about it", I answered looking at her baffled and worried when she downed and poured another drink.

"mhm", she hummed and sat down in the stool. Silent, for once in my life she was silent and wasn't prying or advising me about life. It was odd coming from her, very much so, to drink so much when she always implied that drinking like there's no tomorrow is more like a sin than an enjoyment or for stress relieving.

The silence was getting more heavier the minute when I finally stood and said my goodbye's. She simply waved me off and mumble something I couldn't understand.

Looking back at her massive house just after I pulled out from the driveway, I wondered. What makes such a successful person so sad that she drowned herself from something she always hated, quite excessively.

'Does she have somebody in her life?'

Never did I think she's got one when all I could see, was her married to her work and her money, piling up to an account somewhere in a bank. I couldn't say something back there, I wasn't equipped when I for one don't know anything about her life. Certainly, the sixteen year age gap made our relationship more like, her a sponsor. Someone whom I don't talk to for months but her money kept coming every first week of the month.

'Or was it loneliness?'

I drove away, pushing down the unanswered questions and curiosity inside my mind, surely someday, we'll talk about the adventures we had. Maybe, someday we'll sit down again, telling how life has been while we pour ourselves a glass of bourbon.

'I'll visit soon sis. Maybe even confess something I always wanted to accept in life, how I, your own flesh and blood, a woman is in love with another woman. Will you accept me then? More importantly, will mother?'

The house disappeared on my rear-view window and I looked ahead, knowing it'll be a long time till I see them again. What was more important at the moment was the road ahead, making a name for myself, building my courage, facing the world without their protection.

It was the most scariest thing I've felt, being loose and free, the dreadful feeling and thoughts of what ifs and the moments when you feel like you couldn't pull through.

My internship on the entertainment industry my sister suggested was accepted, rather than to be glad, I was nervous and had so many thoughts about finally landing a real job. What would I become then if I mess it up. I took my time to breath before entering the office of the man who was supposed to have paved way to my employment.

"Hi! How are you doing so far?", he asked not looking up, closing the last folder on his table.

"It's going well sir, aside from the paper cuts", I answered gaining a small deep laugh from him. He looks up from his seat, fiddling his pen around, stared at me for a moment and smiled.

"Indeed", he chuckled.

"So, you are a friend of my sister's?", he continued, dropping the pen and arranging his beard, sat back and finally faced me.

"No, but my sister is", I denied, he looked relieved and gave out a long sigh.

"Okay, good. Did someone brief you from everything else around here?", his face turned serious suddenly.

"Yes sir. Brandy did"

"That's good. Keep up, maybe, we'll see your status then", he explained and motioned me to go. I couldn't help but think of what he meant by status, if it was me being fired in day two when they don't see me fit. That would definitely wouldn't sit well with my sister who communicated on my behalf.

"Oh-, and tell Ms. Collins to let the doctor in when she arrives", he added before he waved me off again. It was rather baffling how his emotion changes drastically in a matter of seconds, like a person diagnosed with bipolar.

Hours went by swiftly with piling papers in my desk, it could hardly hold. This would definitely be the time to master my patience, with little I have. I can surely master it, one paper at a time.

It was a minute before lunch when Brandy came and pulled me out from my seat, feeling my muscles crack from being in the same position for hours upon hours. He looked at me laughing,

"It'll get better, it also saves energy for the brain", he giggled and ushered me towards the cafeteria, rushing for a table outside. I laughed as I and two other followed him out. It was a fine day, the sun hit my face as soon as I opened the door. My bare skin colliding with the city's humid air. My eyes suddenly darted straight,

I stopped on track, staring at a woman's back, looking over the skyline with a cigarette on hand. Her short brown hair, swayed by the strong humid air. Her elbows propped on the rails supporting her upper half as she puffs smoke out from her mouth. That style of hers I could hardly remember now, yet, very much vivid in my mind, dark blue tailored suit and that shining oxford shoes.

'There's no way!'

For a moment, I could feel my world stop, all I could see was her. Standing there, her back on me. It was like she sensed it as she slowly, looked around, taking off her shades and finally met me in the eyes.

'Golden Blue eyes'

"Golden blue eyes", I repeated whispering to myself.

She stood shocked as I am, still, everything was still except for me and her. Everything else was a blur, like a tinted glass they were. I wanted to do something, but my body won't move, frozen to where I stood. I could see her drop everything from her hands and rubbed her eyes, before coming to a realization that neither I nor her was nothing of an illusion,

"Sammy", her lips moved calling onto my name.

'She called my name'

'At last, she called my name'