Midnight Lips | Ghost

𝐂𝐇. 66

𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐓
༻☠︎︎༺

I think I'm falling for you, Ghost.

My chest grew heavy again at the memory, my stomach did too. Panic settled over me like a dark cloud, guilty rain pouring over me until I was dripping and drowning in regrets. She said she was falling for me, Val told me she was halfway to loving me, and all I did and had at the moment was... nothing.

Nothing to stop her from falling further in love with me. Nothing to prevent her from falling for me in the first place. Nothing in my mind to respond to that until it was too late. Nothing for a future that wasn't doomed for us. Nothing to reassure her that I was, too, falling head over heels for her.

Te quiero...

*ೃ༄

The door behind me opened in a rush as someone stepped into the balcony where I was currently hiding. I kept on leaning against the railing, not caring who was now accompanying me. I knew it was not Valentina because of the sounds of their steps, knew it was no one that would be a danger to me, though it didn't matter if they wanted to stab me. I wanted to do it too.

"Ah, someone else finally found this spot." Soap entered the frame as he came to stand next to me. Of course, he already knew around here. It would be strange if he didn't. The man couldn't just stay in one single place for more than five minutes, couldn't even stay with his mouth shut for more than the same minutes.

I exhaled and looked down at my feet, not wanting to leave even if he asked me to. Valentina's precious face hovered over my thoughts again. I had been thinking all day about what happened this morning and spent all night thinking about what happened last night. Christ, my mind had never been so busy thinking before, it was starting to hurt my temples.

Today, I woke up with a heavy weight on my chest after a pretty long and harsh night, and I had the urge to show Val part of myself as I stared at her in my arms. I wanted to show her that we were the same, that we both had the same issues and that there was nothing wrong with her breaking down. She made it so easy for me to open up and made it so easy to rethink my choices. And then she surprised me by admitting that she was falling in love with me.

Fuck... I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't know what I had to do. I didn't know if I should follow my heart or my head, two completely different outcomes that made my whole body hurt. I could spend all day explaining why following my head was the best choice, but then... thinking about it made me want to rip my chest apart and tear my heart out of my body, then smash it in my hand until I was no longer alive.

Following my head was the best choice. However, following my heart just felt right.

In the corner of my eye, I saw Soap's boots step next to me. "Alright, what is it, Ghost? Spill it out." My stomach did a little swirl and I looked up at the view as I contemplated about what he said. Why was I actually considering talking to him about it? What could he possibly have to say that could help me in this situation? "Ghost?" he asked, a more serious and concerned tone now.

My eyes suddenly itched. I took off my sunglasses and pressed my fingertips to the edge of them. "Valentina said she was falling for me." There, I said it out loud. Now what? Should I admit that saying it aloud made me hurt even more?

Soap whistled. "Damn, that was fast." He leaned his elbows on the railing right next to me while I covered my eyes with the sunglasses again. "And what did you say?" he asked.