Fated To Marry You

[12] The eagerness of heart

Mishti >>

I was sitting in the lawn, on a swing and staring at the huge company. The weather was good today. There was no one around in the office premises as it was working hours. Everyone was bound to follow the rules including me. But the CEO of this company had messed up my mind and I was not able to concentrate on my work.

He had called me to his cabin for almost ten times through his peon but I ignored it. Yesterday whatever happened was not supposed to happen. I should feel regretted but I wasn't feeling which was hurting me. If I would have kissed him just because of the burning desires it would have been fine.

But it was not about just physical need.

I did everything from my whole heart and that's hurting me.

I was not supposed to lose my heart to him.

He would be the last person to whom I wanted to give my heart. He should be.

From his side, he was just driven by the passion and desires. He was not at fault, both of us consent was there. But the main thing was it's nothing for him but a kiss just a kiss. But for me a kiss is not just a physical touch , it's much more and I can't explain.

I wasn't regretting it but I was scared.

I don't want to fall for him.

But our closeness will make me fall for him in every possible way.

I wish, I wish he would have been a devil to me, he too tried to be but he failed. My stupid heart will first see the good thing then will see the bad thing in a person which will lead me in trouble.

We will never end up together, I wish I would have put it clear in my head before. I always knew we were never meant to be together but I hardly think about us not ending up together. I always go with the flow and now I am drowning. Abir was right. If you embrace the sea, you will die.

I have just put myself in a situation where I don't know what to do.

The silence was disturbed by the footsteps sounds of Abir. He removed his black coat and handed it to his driver, he made his way to me and sat on the other swing.

"Butterfly! I have called you for nth time, what are you doing here ? " he asked, I was expecting him to shout at me but it didn't happen. He was sounding all calm and relax. The time I want him to behave angrily with me he does the opposite. How will I hate him?

"I guess you haven't made the swing for just decoration , as no one sit here so I thought it to give some work! " I said, he slowly tilted his head to me, he was already pissed off by my lame answer.

"Tell me what's happening? What is wrong? " he asked again, it rarely happens that he start a conversation with me. But here he wanted to start a conversation where I was not in a mood or in a messed up mind to utter anything.

"Yesterday whatever happened was just a mistake! " I uttered, till now he was pushing his own swing by the help of his feet but stopped instantly when he heard me. He was already gazing at me, I looked back at him. I want to consider it as a mistake, the only way to keep my mind sane. And the only way to keep us apart.

I have attachment issue, what if at the end I will fall for him? I will hurt myself only. It's better to stay away from him. It's hard but better for me & him as well.

He was just staring at me.

"Are you regretting about it? Whatever happened last night, the moment we had? " now his voice was low , maybe he was not expecting something like this.