Little Secrets, Little Bucky

Never A Bother

Bucky couldn't sleep. It had been at least an hour and a half since he had settled in with Y/n, and all he'd done was toss and turn. He climbed out of the bed, careful to avoid waking Y/n, and made his way to the living room. There was a book left on the kitchen table, an old copy of Narnia, and he got through several chapters before the restlessness set in again.

He curled up on the couch and felt a familiar fuzzy feeling in the back of his mind. He felt tears burning in his eyes as he fought the urge to regress, knowing that without his mama it most likely wouldn't go how he wanted, at least not while he was this exhausted. All he wanted was to sleep, or at the very least be little with his mama. Either way it was a rest. He found himself reaching for his doggy and hugging it to his chest as his willpower began to wane. Maybe he could let himself be little by himself. Just for a little bit. What's the worst that could happen? He didn't need his mama. He could handle this. Bucky grabbed his blankie and held it close along with his doggy. He stopped fighting and let himself slip as his thumb found its way into his mouth.

Mama.

No. Mama's busy.

He moved to the floor and took out his toy box, managing to busy himself with it for a few minutes before the pangs of longing came back.

I want Mama.

Mama's sleeping.

Mama said she'd always come when I called.

Don't call, you'll bother her.

He shook his head and moved back towards the couch, trying again to fight the tears in his eyes. His hand hit a toy keyboard and it immediately began playing a loud tune as he watched in horror. He felt tears spring to his eyes. Mama was going to be so mad if he woke her up. What if she hurt him?

Mama doesn't hurt me.

What if she left?

Mama doesn't leave.

What if she-

"Bucky?" Y/n 's sleepy voice cut through his panic and his head shot up to look at her. "Why are you up baby?" There was no anger in her voice. Not even a hint of irritation. Bucky immediately burst into tears, exhausted and completely overwhelmed.

"Sorry Mama," he sobbed, trying to hide his face in his blankie. "Sorry!"

Y/n crouched down beside him and laid a gentle hand on his back. He jolted a little at the contact but didn't move away, which she took as a good sign. "Why are you sorry sweetheart? You haven't done anything wrong."

"Woke you up," he cried. "Wasn't s'posed to bother Mama."

"Oh, oh no," she breathed out, sitting beside him and gently tugging at his blanket just enough to signal that she wanted him to look at her. He complied and her heart ached when she saw the desperation in her baby's eyes. "C'mere baby, it's alright." He scrambled into her lap, beginning to sob into her shoulder as he pressed himself as close to her body as he could get. "You are never a bother. You can always wake me up, especially when you're little."

Bucky just cried harder, unable to calm himself now that his mama was there. "M'tired Mama," he sobbed into her shirt. "Can't sleep, can't play, just wanna rest!"

Y/n stood up with her baby, rocking him back and forth while he cried. She knew he was overtired, and as a result he was too worked up to rest. It was an awful paradox that they had dealt with before, but not quite to this extent. "My sweet boy," she cooed, trying to get his attention. Bucky just kept crying, unable to focus on anything other than his distress. She thought for a moment before inspiration struck her and she began singing.