Little Secrets, Little Bucky

Sleepy Baby

They ate on the floor in front of the coffee table, watching Alice and Wonderland. By the time Alice had met Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum, coincidentally Y/n's nicknames for her brother and Sam, Bucky had finished his dinner and so had Y/n. She got onto the couch and Bucky crawled into her lap as soon as she was settled. The day's events had well and truly exhausted him. Y/n ran her fingers through his hair and rocked him back and forth and before long the tired little boy was almost asleep in her lap. He could sit here in her arms forever and never want to leave. That nice fuzzy feeling in his head was back as he laid there in that peaceful space between sleeping and being awake and all he was aware of was his Mama's hand running up and down his back.

Once the movie ended he became aware of his Mama talking to him, bringing him back to the present. "I think it's time for little boys to get ready for bed," she said softly, guiding his face to look up at her, "you've had a long day, bubba."

He shook his head as best he could with her hand holding him steady. "Nuh-uh," Bucky pouted, it was still early in the night, he'd wake up at an ungodly hour if he went to sleep now. "'S too early for bed, Mama." He said sleepily.

"I know," she laughed, "but we're just going to get ready, alright? I was thinking we'd get you in the bath and then I could read to you for a while before you went to sleep. How's that sound, baby?"

It sounded amazing. Bucky hadn't had a bedtime routine since he was, well, probably since he was actually a baby. Growing up during the Great Depression meant that he was usually in charge of putting both him and his sisters to bed while his parents worked. It wasn't something he'd ever even thought about. Leave it to Mama to think of everything, even things he'd forgotten existed. He knew she was waiting for a response but couldn't find his words to say what he thought and so he settled for nodding enthusiastically against his mama's shoulder.

"Alright, let's go potty first, ok? You haven't gone in a couple hours." She stood up with him in her arms and he froze. Y/n felt Bucky freeze up in her arms and stopped walking to the bathroom. Why was he so frightened? He'd been fine just a moment ago. She readjusted him and felt something squish. Oh, his pull-up was wet. Her heart dropped in her chest, he wasn't going to take this well. He was so hard on himself when he had accidents, she hated it. He didn't deserve to hurt the way that he did. "It's ok, sweetheart," she tried to reassure him before he could panic, "That's what pull-ups are supposed to be for."

No. No no no no no. He was wet? How was he wet? He didn't remember even going. He'd been dry when the movie started and he was positive that he hadn't gone during dinner. Oh god, it must've happened while he was in his mama's lap. He had been just sleepy enough to let go on accident. Bucky felt tears burning in his eyes. Mama knew. She had to be lying, this wasn't ok at all. She had to be so mad at him. This time he wasn't even asleep, he was just too stupid to know he had to use the bathroom. "Bad boy," he whispered, trying his best not to cry. If he cried he'd only be punished. The first time he'd had an accident it was ok, he tried to get there in time and just hadn't made it. But this time? This time it was all his fault.

"No, not a bad boy," Y/n said, holding him tighter, "I'm not upset with you. You're just a little boy, Bucks, these things happen."

Tears began forcing their way down his cheeks and he was shaking against his Mama with the sheer effort it took to hold in his sobs. She was being so understanding, he just couldn't help it. "Sorry," he choked out, "so sorry, Mama."

"There's nothing to be sorry for, baby. You didn't do anything wrong." She rocked him back and forth, trying to soothe the fear she knew he was feeling. "Mama's not mad, you can cry if you need to, I'm right here to take care of you."

A sob tore its way out of his throat and he hid his face in the crook of her neck. He wasn't sure exactly why he was crying, some mixture of embarrassment and relief, but Mama was there to make it better. She ran a hand up and down his back and helped him take big, deep, breaths and before long he was left sniffling against her shoulder. He was still wet but it didn't quite feel like the end of the world anymore.