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Panic Attacks and Quits

"Back so soon?" My boss asked, chuckling still looking at his computer

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"Back so soon?" My boss asked, chuckling still looking at his computer.

"I just wanted to address some things with you." I said, fidgeting with my hands.

"Okay, what's up?" He asked.

"Is there any way we can increase my pay to the amount it was before? I deserve what I had before. I went to school for twelve years and worked my way up for this job, and now it's all getting taken away from me by a man, again." I say honestly.

My boss looks at me, "I'm sorry, but that's just the way it is." The hospital can't afford to pay another person," he said. I nodded my head and took a deep breath.

"Okay, then I have no choice but to quit." I left it at that and walked out of his office. I deserved to be treated better.

When I walked out, Dr. Ted stood there talking with a head nurse. "Exuse me," I said, interrupting their conversation. The head nurse smiled at me and walked away.

"Oh Hello, Doctor Faith, what can I do for you?" He asked.

I got straight to the point, "How can you work with only half the pay?" I asked.

He gave me a questionable look, "What do you mean? I'm getting full pay." He said, then he explained to me that he was actually getting paid more than what I usually made. I stormed out of the hospital, pissed off now.

I got in my car and drove home, but stopping at Dairy Queen first and getting myself a brownie and some ice cream.

Once I got home, I took off my shoes and sat right on the couch, eating the ice cream and brownie, watching tv, and crying.

~

"Amelia?" Someone called my name.

"Dane?" I say up from the couch.

"Hey, you didn't text or call me?" Dane said, standing in the doorway.

"Sorry, I forgot." I said, standing up.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"Three." He replied.

"Oh shit, I have to pick Owen up and I lost track of time." I said.

He shook his head and chuckled. "I'll go pick him up." He said.

"You don't have to do that." I said.

"No it's fine, why don't you start dinner and we'll be back." He suggested.

God he was perfect.

I nodded my head. He walked over to me, gripped my jaw lightly and pecked my lips. "Relax, it will be okay." He said. I nodded my head kissing him back again. He knew I quit my job.

When we pull apart I wanted to go back. Back to the feeling I feel every time I kiss him. I grip  his hair, kissing him again.

"I have to pick... Owen up." He mumbles into the kiss. I shake my head.

I say, "One more minute." After our minute he pulls away smiling.

"I'm gonna be late." He replies. Once he walks out I grin. Damn.

I start dinner, starting with the meat. Seasoning it and then putting it on the pan. Then I start with the sides, rice, and veggies.

DING

My phone beeps, I grab it from my pocket and open it.

Unknown: I want to see my son.

I gasp. My heart is racing. My phone falls to the floor with a big thump. I lean against the counter, my hand over my heart. I can't breathe. Everything from today comes out. My job and this.

Tears run down my cheek as I slide down the floor. I'm whimpering, trying to breathe. I couldn't breathe.

I try to catch my breath, but I just can't. Why won't it stop?

"Mom I'm home! I can't wait to tell you about my day!" Owen says coming through the kitchen from the front door.

"Mom?" Owen asks, as I lay on the floor in my state. I'm so embarrassed.

"Owen..." I could barely get the words out.

"Owen, go upstairs please." Dane says as he looks at me. Why can't I just stop?

Owen nods his head, hesitantly, before leaving.

"I can't breathe," I gasped. Dane comes over to me. Picking me up and taking me to the couch, laying me down on top of him.

"Breathe," he says, rubbing my back.

"You're having a panic attack, it's okay." He says.

"I-" I couldn't speak.

"Don't speak, focus on breathing." He said.

I had many panic attacks when I was little and now they were starting again.

My breathing slows down and I'm brought back to a steady pace. I'm still crying but not sobbing.

"Mommy?" Owen whispers my name from behind me. I close my eyes before opening. I stand up, looking at Owen.

"Why are you crying mom?" Owen frowns and comes closer.

"It's okay, I was just a little upset. I'm okay now. Why don't you go take a shower and get dressed in your pajamas and then we will eat dinner and you can tell me about your day." I say, ruffling his hair.

I sit down on the couch, eye to eye with him. Owen nods but doesn't leave. He comes closer and wraps his arms around me. I kiss his head, smelling his hair, which instantly calms me down.

"I love you," He says kissing my cheeks before running upstairs.

I want to cry again, I'm surprised I have tears left.

"What was it about?" Dane asked.

"Everything." I said, honestly.

"Go take a bath, I'll finish dinner and help Owen." He says kissing me.

"You're perfect." I mumble against his lips.

"What did I say?" He asks, glaring at me. I nod my head and walk upstairs to my room.

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