Chapter Five

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The children returned home, Klaus holding two bags of shopping, Violet holding Sunny, and Rowan holding four books that the children had borrowed from Justice Strauss's library. A book about felines for Klaus, a book about the world's greatest scientists for Violet, a book about geography for Rowan, and a picture book about a cat for Sunny.

"Orphans! Orphans!" yelled Count Olaf, running down the stairs. "Food. Lovely." Then he saw the books in Rowan's hands. "Did I ask you to get books?"

"No, but Justice Strauss let us borrow some from her library." Rowan explained.

"Justice?" Count Olaf asked.

"Strauss. The lady who lives across from us." explained Klaus.

"Oh, the woman in that wig who loves rules."

Suddenly, five people came down the stairs. A tall man who had hooks instead of hands, a thin man with a bald head and a long nose, a short fat person that looked like both a man and a woman, and two young women with short black hair that had smothered white powder on their faces.

"How do you do?" asked Violet nervously.

"How do you do?" asked Klaus.

"Howdo?" asked Sunny

Rowan stayed silent, and the distasteful look on his face made it clear that he knew these people.

"We are all very well." the bald man said, but he didn't say it in a friendly way - he said it in a threatening way.

"Now that the boss has a new fortune to steal." laughed the hook-handed man.

"But you won't be okay." One of the women said.

"Not when Count Olaf has your fortune." The other added.

"Now, make the food!" growled Count Olaf. "Baby, get the wine."

"Sunny can't get your wine." reasoned Violet. "It would be too heavy."

"Well, then you get the wine, smart girl!" He, obviously, didn't say 'smart girl' in a complimenting way, but rather in a mocking way.

"Fine." Violet went to the grimy kitchen to retrieve the wine, passing Sunny to Klaus before she did.

"You three - begin cooking."

Soon, all four children had a job to do. Violet was fixing the pasta machine, Sunny was chopping the vegetables, Klaus was stirring the sauce, and Rowan was making the dough. After an hour, they had a delicious meal, with a bowl of sauce, a bowl of pasta, and six glasses of wine.

"When are we going to eat?" Count Olaf bellowed from the dining room.

"We've just finished!" Violet yelled back.

Rowan poured wine into the six glasses, and passed them to Violet for her to carry them in. Then, he picked up the bowl of sauce, and Klaus took the pasta.

They served it out to Olaf's troupe who happily drank the wine, but stared in disgust at the Pasta Puttanesca. When they reached Olaf, his reaction was even worse.

"What is this?" he asked.

"Pas-pasta Puttanesca." stammered Rowan.

"What did you call me?" yelled Count Olaf. "Where's the roast beef?"

"We didn't call you anything. Pasta Puttanesca is an Italian dish involving pasta, covered in sauce, and often mixed with chopped vegetables. And you didn't ask for roast beef."

"We didn't ask for your help, bookworm! See, the bookworm's knowledge even extends to food!"

The troupe laughed.

"Go to your beds whilst the adults eat! No dinner for you today as punishment!" Count Olaf shouted.

"You mean bed! You only provided us with one bed." Klaus snapped.

"Well, if you wish for another three beds, then you four may go into town tomorrow and purchase some with your large fortunes."

"The Baudelaire Fortune and the White Fortune may only be used when Violet and Rowan come of age."

Olaf didn't speak, just slapped Klaus's face.

Violet and Rowan gasped and ran over to Klaus. Violet almost dropped Sunny in her surprise.

"Are you okay?" asked Violet.

"No. This just isn't..." Klaus began.

"Isn't what?" Rowan asked gently.

"Be-better than nothing." and he ran upstairs, Violet and Rowan following.

"I'm sorry." Klaus apologised shakily, taking his glasses off to rub his eyes. He was crying.

"Don't be sorry." Rowan comforted him. "You were so brave when you were standing up to Olaf like that."

"Don't worry, Klaus." Violet put her hand on her brother's shoulder. "We're all scared."

Sunny shrieked, "Caj!", which meant 'Don't worry!'.

"We should probably get to sleep." Klaus reasoned. "Before Count Olaf and his troupe finish their meal and come to check on us."

Klaus and Sunny got into bed, Rowan led down near the window, and Violet led down next to the bed.

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