Reckless Abandon // Muke Sequel {Completed}

Kissing in Cars

I've always tried to remind her that the future's
Just a few heartbeats away from disaster.
I'm afraid that I've thrown it all away.

Calum came around one day. Luke hadn't been aware, sleeping on the couch whilst Michael and Calum yelled at each other in the kitchen area. Luke was always a heavy sleeper at the best of times.

Luke knew Michael could've kept the encounter to himself, to keep Luke safe, to keep his biggest fears and darkest thoughts that seemed to creep up on him at the worst of times away still, but he told Luke the truth, Luke wasn't sure whether to be grateful or not. He didn't need to hear every detail of Calum's spiteful words, after all.

Apparently Calum wasn't expecting Luke lain on the sofa, head in Michael's lap and heavy snores emitting from his throat, but there he was, of course. Calum was angry, apparently, like really angry.

Luke didn't know what to think really, Calum had hurt him too much, for someone he didn't really know even that well, he'd been attacked by both words and actions Calum had chosen to use against Luke, and Luke was sure he could never be forgiven for that.

Michael explained how something bad had happened to Calum's sister, how he had no money for hospital fees, how he had cried and Michael gave him the little bit of spare money he'd been saving for a rainy day, the few hundred dollars, and how he had told Calum to never come back.

He told Luke how Calum had yelled and cried at Michael, they had been friends since high school, after all. Calum said Michael had betrayed him, Michael said Calum had done the same thing and eventually got him out of the apartment. For some reason Luke suddenly felt like the asshole, like he had forced Michael to drop such an important part of his teenage years and memories just for him. It was odd what love did.

Luke had kissed Michael's forehead and told him he was proud of Michael, that Luke didn't deserve someone like him. And honestly, he probably didn't. Luke didn't deserve someone who would risk life long friendships and so many other things, just for Luke. Luke was plain and boring and selfish, and he shouldn't have someone like Michael to tell him none of those things were true. They were, after all.

Luke hadn't been insecure about himself until the past couple of months. In a way, he could blame Michael, for dragging all these other people who only degraded and disregarded Luke's existence as asexual, but at the same time, it was himself that excepted that maybe what was being said was true.

Luke remembered when he was comfortable in himself, when he flaunted his sexuality like it was something people wouldn't care about and would instantly understand and accept. In reality, most people in the world don't even know what asexuality is, let alone accept it as something real. The fact hurt Luke, people may never understand who he is or what he stands for, not really.

Luke thought about other people, about their brains and thoughts and how impossible each and everyone of them were. Someone somewhere was thinking something beautiful to never be written or worded and lost forever in the brain of an unknown, faceless person anywhere in the world. It must be tough to be the worlds greatest writer or poet or musician stuck in denial about what they can do, they must not even realise it.

Luke had never been a deep thinking, he wondered what had happened, why certain people made him shut down and suddenly not want to be touched by anyone as a cold sweat runs into the material of his shirt and the familiar sick feeling returns to his stomach.

Physical reactions didn't seem to happen to anyone at the same extremes as Luke, and it was part of Luke which Michael excepted with a warm blanket placed around Luke's shoulders and hot chocolate in his hands, but his throat was too closed up to speak or drink and he didn't want to shut down again, but he could feel it happening as Michael described every detail of Calum kissing him only half an hour earlier.

Michael described how much he hated it, but Luke could only hear the opposite as he nodded obediently along and Michael said how he threw Calum out then before he could say another word, but the words were washing over Luke's faint mind and he hoped Michael wouldn't notice how pale he looked or how much he was shaking despite the blanket and that maybe for once he could be left alone with his thoughts and no more than jus that. He was thinking too much, but he just wanted more of it.

And silence fell between them and Luke just looked at the grey wall in front of him, the corner laced with damp mould and he had to say something before Michael grew too concerned but he didn't know what anymore, he wasn't sure what his mouth might accidentally say coming from his over producing mind.

"Okay," was all he said through course voice.

This chapter was supposed to be happy kinda tbh and it didn't turn out quite how it was supposed to oops...

I think there's only going to be two or three more chapters before this ends I feel it coming to an end now and yeah, it'll be weird not writing in this universe anymore tbh

I hope you guys are doing great, I fell off my horse so I'm kinda in pain lmao l8r sk8rs