All The Colors Of You || Bang Chan

Chapter Ten - Perrie

"It's quite late," I say after three hours of painting, "How about we stop for today? We made quite the progress."

I put down the brush in my hand and place the palette on the desk to wipe my hands clean on my clothes.
Chan relaxes in his stance and rolls his shoulders with his eyes closed.
I feel bad.
It can't be comfortable to stand in the same position for hours on end.

He starts collecting his things, but I'm not ready to let him leave.
"I know this might be broaching the client-painter-boundaries," I start and put my hands into the back pockets of my overalls, "But I was wondering... if you're up for it, we could go for a drink. There's a great bar down the street. Only if you want to, of course."
Chan turns to me with wide eyes that look at everything but my face.

"That's not possible," the words all but tumble out of his mouth and it's my turn to blush.
"Oh," I glance away and scratch my neck, "I'm sorry, I thought-... uhm, no worries. I shouldn't have asked."
Chan raises both his hands and waves as he shakes his head vehemently.
"Oh, no, that's not what I meant. I swear!" His voice is panicked and he takes a few steps closer to me. "I want to. I would love to go out with you!"

I face him again, but I'm confused.
He continues, "I would love to grab a drink with you, I really enjoy your company! It's just that because I'm an idol I can't..."
His head drops down and he sighs.
"Because you're not allowed to or-.." I trail off.
"Because it could escalate. It's risky for me to go out where people could recognize me without a security or a manager. They could start taking pictures or crowd us. They could starts rumors. I have to uphold a certain picture, you know?"

Chan looks up at me with a pleasing look in his eyes and I swallow.
I take his hand.
I don't totally understand it.
It shouldn't matter if he goes out with girls, if he dates someone, if he drinks alcohol like a responsible young man. He should be able to do whatever he wants to do. It shouldn't matter to his fans how he chooses to spend his free time.
But it does.
And so I will have to fall in line if I want to spend some time with Chan.

"Okay," I say then as our fingers lock, "So no public places. I wanted to make pizza at home tonight and I'd be willing to share with you, if you want. How does that sound?"
His face lights up with a relieved smile and he takes a breath like a weight has been lifted off his chest.
"It sounds amazing. I would love to."

We order a car to take us home.
Chan insists on paying for it, but it doesn't feel right, so I make him let me take over the tipping.
As we stand in front of my complex, I try to look at my house through Chan's eyes.
The street isn't dirty, but the buildings are older and not as modern.
There are mothers who watch their kids play ball with each other.
A grandma sits in a chair on the sidewalk, knitting something in an awful brown yarn.
The trees here are gnarly and could use a good trimming, there's a few holes in the pavement.
Chan simultaneously does and does not belong here.

When we ascend the stairs to my door, Gloria and Ji are sitting on the veranda with a stack of playing cards between them on the table.
They look up as we approach my front door.
"Now who do we have here?" Gloria tips down her chin until she can look over the rims of her glasses.
Ji takes a sip from his glass on the table and leans back.
"Honey, won't you introduce us to your handsome friend?"

Chan chuckles but I blush.
So this is what it's like to bring a boy home to your parents. Who knew?
I clear my throat.
"Chan," I say and point at my neighbors, "Meet Gloria and Ji. They live next doors on both sides."
Chan waves and approaches the table.
He reaches out his hand towards Gloria first.
"It's so nice to meet you," he says with a bright smile, "I'm Bang Chan."

Ji gasps then and looks at me with a face full of sudden realization.
"Are you the one who hired our Perrie for that portrait? You're in a band, aren't you?"
Chan nods. "Yes, I am. And Perrie's doing a magnificent job. I'm very excited about our collaboration."
Ji purses his lips as Chan shakes his hand as well and grins slyly at me past Chan's shoulder.
I roll my eyes and lean against the doorframe with crossed arms.
"We're gonna make pizza," I announce then, "And I'm hungry. So, can we please go?"

"Oh, you should play cards with us!" Gloria points at the cards between them, "I'm winning."
Ji throws his hands in the air exhaustedly.
"You lost the last three rounds, Gloria! There is no way in hell you're winning," he says then before waving towards his door.
"There's sangria in the fridge," he adds, "You're welcome to it! I'll bring some wine back from the club tonight and I'll need the space in the fridge so please drink all of it."

I look at Chan with a raised eyebrow and he shrugs with a small smile.
I pull him into Ji's apartment and head towards the open kitchen. I take the glass container of sangria out of the fridge as Chan inspects the penis-shaped candle on the counter.
"I'm sorry," I say to him, "They're not usually like this."
Chan looks at me with clear eyes and answers, "I like them. They seem to care about you a lot."
"They do." I smile.

When we finally make our way to my door, I hand Chan the sangria and waddle over to give Gloria and Ji a quick kiss on the cheek.
They're not for everybody, but they're my family.

I pull Chan inside my apartment and close the door behind us, shutting out Ji and Gloria's endless bickering.
"Home, sweet home," I sigh and kick off my shoes by the door.
The kitchen connects to the living room.
The bathroom connects to my bedroom.
It's not big, but it's mine.
As in my workshop, there are sketches and paintings everywhere.
But there are also traces of my other life.

Pictures of my life in America before I moved here hanging on the wall behind the TV.
Flyers to special events at the Flamingo on the pin wall in the kitchen.
A cupcake recipe in Gloria's delicate handwriting on the fridge door.
Rows of books on my shelves.
A pile of dirty laundry on the foot of my bed.

I delegate Chan to the kitchen and push him down on one of the two stools by the counter.
"Let's get this party started."