All The Colors Of You || Bang Chan

Chapter Eight - Perrie

He orders us a car.
He tells the driver to wait until I'm safe inside my doorway to drive away.
He does everything perfectly right.

A full day goes by, neither of us texts the other. Then another night passes, still no texts.
I'm not sure if I should.
I like him, but I know myself.
I have a habit of falling way too fast, of rushing into things and coming out broken and bruised.
I can't do that with Chan.
He's not just my client, he's also an idol.

Still, I can't stop thinking about him.
I can't stop looking at the half-empty bottle of rosé in the corner of my room, reminding myself of everything he told me.
He occupies a corner of my mind already, and no matter how much I'm trying to force myself not to, I can feel myself lose it.
The carefully created security around my heart.

When I do see him again, Changbin is with him.
The two of them are here for their painting session.

Everything is perfectly normal.
Changbin is first.
I position him and start assembling my paints, as Chan takes a seat by the wall. He pulls out a laptop from a backpack, and puts a pair of headphones on his head.
He does not look up.

I try not to pay too much attention to him, but I can hear his fingers tap away on his keyboard.
Changbin watches me with a smug look on his face as I nervously sway from one foot to the other, pulling on my clothes and changing my own pose.
I don't usually get nervous when I do this. I don't feel anxiety when I'm holding my brushes, ever.
It's not good for the painting.

"What?"
I narrow my eyes at Changbin.
He grins and shrugs.
"Nothing," he says, "You look cool, don't worry."
"I know," I huff and straighten up, "But I don't care, like-... I know I look cool, it's not a big deal, though. I mean, you know-... whatever."
He raises an eyebrow and nods towards Chan.
"He can't hear us," Changbin says then, "He's in his zone right now. Happens all the time. He won't hear or even notice us."

I glance over my shoulder at Chan.
He's staring at his screen, a serious look in his eyes. He blinks, but his eyes never leave his computer.
He shakes his head and breathes deeply. I raise my hand to wave at him, he ignores it.
I turn back to Changbin who has a look on his face that screams 'I told you so'.

"He came home really late two days ago," Changbin says very nonchalantly, "Was all giggly and weird. Slept in the next day, almost until two in the afternoon."
"Oh, really?" I don't know how much Chan talks about me or if he told them that he was with me that night. "Sounds like he had a good time."
Changbin looks at me and I keep my eyes on the canvas in front of me.

I need to concentrate. I need to focus.
"He's different," Changbin tries again, "Since that night."
"It was literally two days ago," I answer quietly. I can't help but blush, though.
"Still," Changbin insists, "He's smiled more yesterday than in the entire three months before."
I don't answer. I don't know what to say.

Anything that would come out of my mouth would drag me deeper into whatever it is that I am already feeling.
I can't have that.
I work quietly.
To my relief, Changbin doesn't add anything to what he already said. I don't think I could handle it.

An hour goes by, we take a break. I run down to the fried chicken shop to get three sodas and a box of chicken tenders.
Then we continue.
Two more hours go by. Chan sits on the floor, working quietly.
Changbin and I chat. He tells me about his family and what his sister's doing right now. He tells me about his writing process and how much fun he has writing with Jisung and Chan for 3racha.

Then his session is over, and I put down the brush and palette.
I take a step back from the canvas.
All the hours I already spent on it and yet I barely even made a smidge.
There's so much still to do.

Chan stands from his place on the floor and puts his stuff away as Changbin gets to collect his.
"Oh," he says then and pulls out his phone, "My phone is ringing!"
Chan scrunches his eyebrows together and shakes his head, "No, it's not."
Changbin turns away with his phone at his ear.
"Yes, hello?" Changbin's voice is louder than it needs to be. "What, right now? Yes, I just got done. I can be there in twenty. I'm on my way, yes!"

He puts his phone down and turns back towards Chan and me.
"Sorry guys," he shrugs into our clueless faces, "I need to go. Someone needs help with-..."
He looks around the room, looking for  something to finish his obvious lie.
He finds nothing, so he closes with, "Something."

Chan and I stand wordlessly as Changbin grabs all his stuff in the blink of an eye and rushes out of the workshop with a wicked grin on his face and a hand waving in the air.
Then he's gone and Chan and I are alone.

I turn to him and his cheeks are bright pink.
"I have nothing to do with that," he says with wide eyes.
A laugh bubbles out of me and I take a deep breath.

"Okay, I'll just clean this palette and then we can start."