This Friend | Yeonbin

57

Soobin P.O.V

Vince’s funeral is one of the most elaborate spectacles I’ve ever seen.

I think he’d like it.

The service is taking place in this grand churchlike building. There’s a priest, apparently a high-ranking one, if clergy have ranks.

He’s a big deal in the community, is what I mean. He greets the family before the service with a smile, like today was just another day.

At least his eulogy is good. It’s epic and sad.

I glance around. Maybe a hundred people have shown up, and each one is wearing beautiful clothes. Which is good. If someone showed up in jeans I might’ve lost it.

It’s about respect.

To my left is my aunt and her two daughters. She’s a widow now, and my cousins no longer have a father. All because of the Chois.

I’ve never seen three people look more ruined.

I know my uncle was a torturer. He did unspeakable things and never really seemed to care about it. But looking at his grieving family, I know he didn’t deserve this.

I also can’t help but think how easily this could be Taehyun funeral.

Or Dad’s.

Or mine.

We three got lucky.

Vince, and others, didn’t.

There were numerous injuries from the fire, and two others died in the shooting. It’d be all over the news if our family didn’t have control over the local media.

We’ve kept it quiet and explained the fire as the result of a gas leak. The bar burning down made headlines, but nobody knows what really happened.

People tell us we got lucky. But that’s the thing about luck. It runs out eventually.

If nothing changes, one day, maybe soon, I’ll be at one of these things for Taehyun or Dad.

Or they’ll be at mine.

Receptions are weird.

I mean, some people are smiling and laughing and acting like this is just an ordinary gathering. Other people are inconsolable.

“There you are,” says a voice, and I turn.

Cassidy.

She sits down beside me. She’s wearing a black dress. Her makeup is perfect. Either it’s waterproof, because I’m pretty sure that’s a thing, or she never really cared about Vince. For some reason, that thought really bothers me.

“How are you?” I ask.

She shrugs. “Crappy. How are you?”

“I don’t even know, to be honest. I don’t think it’s hit me yet.”

It’s a lie.

I’m angry.

I just don’t know how I feel about feeling that. It feels like the sort of thing I shouldn’t admit.

She nods. “Were you close?”

I don’t feel like lying.

“Not really. I guess it feels weird because now I’m never going to be.”

“I get that. Death is so hard because people are built to want what they can’t have. Now he’s always going to be the one who got away. Sorry if that’s weird to say, I’ve just been thinking about it a lot.”

I let that sink in for a second. It brings Yeonjun to my thoughts. Even here.

What’s wrong with me?

“Hey, I was just wondering, did you talk to your dad?” she asks.

“About what?”

“My theory about the Friend Scheme.”

That feels like a lifetime ago.

“Oh, yeah. I did.”

“And?”

“He didn’t listen to me. You shouldn’t be offended; he never does.”

“Oh.” She frowns.

Now she knows I’m not worth her time. I’m never going to be in charge, and now that I’ve shown that I’m a dead end, she’s going to bail.

“I’m going to do a lap,” she says. “All right? And you should try the cookies over there, they’re weirdly good.”

“’Kay.”

She stands up and walks away.

I’m probably overreacting. It’s a funeral reception, everyone is acting weird, because we aren’t taught how we should act at one of these things. Cassidy isn’t going to drop me over this.

I pull my phone from my pocket. I turned it off during the service.

No new messages.

I squeeze my phone case for a second, so hard I’m worried the screen might crack, then put it back into my pocket.