The Curtis Sister Life | The Outsiders Fanfiction

Chapter 12 (Edited)

A/N I have 103 views?! GODDAMN!!! Thanks so much for reading.

A/N When I wrote this, I had 103 views, going back through and editing, I currently have 18,204 reads. Guys, I'm getting emotional. I have 495 reads on this part alone. Like omg I'm screaming and crying, I'm so in shock from this lmao.

I wanted to stay awake and wait for Johnny to tell me how the date was, but I was really tired for some reason. So I fell asleep earlier than usual.

*Dream* (She doesn't know it's a dream.)

 I was watching the trains go by. They were so interesting and hoped that I could be driving one. One day, maybe I could. That would be a long time from now.

I saw my mom and dad's car. I watched as they went to cross. Then they stopped. Why wouldn't they keep driving. I waved to them to get them to move, but they just waved back, both smiling and watching me. 

"Mom, dad, move!" I screamed, but I didn't even hear my own voice, so they must not have heard me. I tried to yell, but I was practically choking on my calls. Why can't I yell for them?

The train came and crashed into their car. It was destroyed on impact. It got knocked on the tracks and flipped on its side.

I ran over to the car, screaming and crying. As I approached the wreck, I felt myself being shaken.

*Dream ends*

"Kat, it's okay. It's gonna be alright." I heard Darry's reassuring voice say. I felt his arm on my shoulder. I felt Soda hugging me.

I opened my eyes and saw all three of my brothers. Sodapop was hugging me, Darry had his arm around me, and Pony was knelt down beside me. I only just realized that I just had a nightmare. I haven't had one of those in a while.

I was shaking and I had streams of tears flowing down. I didn't realize how bad it was. It was all just so realistic. Most dreams kind of just have the feeling that something is off, but not this one. Everything felt real.

After mom and dad died, I had nightmares almost every night. Same with Pony, but he didn't have them the same as me. I was basically reliving their deaths every night. I watched them die once, and I had to watch them die again and again. Different details every time, but always the same outcome.

Whether it was Socs, a monster (mainly from when I was twelve), or a storm. I had to watch it every night. Most of the time, I never ended up screaming, but I would jump a mile when I woke up.

Every once in a while I would wake up screaming or crying, and one of my brothers would come in. Never all three of them like this. I must've been real loud. 

"What happened, Kat?" Darry asked.

"Noth-Nothing, just a nightmare." I said, taking a few deep breaths.

"Was it about mom and dad?" He asked. I sniffled.

"Yeah." I said, trying to wipe my tears away.

"It's okay sis, I know how it feels. I get 'em too." Pony said.

"Not as bad as me." I said, realizing I probably sounded rude when I said it. They don't know that I watched them die, but I think it is time to explain what really happened the day of the crash.

"I think there is somethin' I need to tell you guys..." I said, trailing off. "I've kept it in for a while..."

"What is it?" Pony asked. I was silent for a second.

"Kat." He said.

"Okay." I said. I began explaining what really happened that day. I didn't leave out what I saw, or what I said. Nothing.

I remembered it all like it was yesterday. Yet, it felt like decades ago, I haven't even been alive that long. 

The events of that day will never leave my head. They are freshly burned into my brain forever. I was still somehow able to keep my cool.

Nobody said anything, shock I guess. They didn't expect their baby sister to have seen something so gruesome, something eating at me for ages.

After a few more minutes of them comforting me, Pony and Darry left. Soda stayed. I knew he would be asking questions he didn't want to ask around the other two. He's always been like that.

"Do ya know if they...if they suffered?" He asked. His eyes were watering.

"I think they died on impact." I said, avoiding eye contact.

"Please don't tell me you're lyin'. You're bein' honest with me, right?" He asked.

"I am." I said.

"I-I was just worried all this time...because everyone kept me from seein' them. I didn't know if they were alive and suffering, or dead immediately. I was scared." Soda admitted.

"Right after the crash, they were dead, holdin' hands. They knew it was too late." I said. My voice cracked.

"I can't believe ya kept this a secret for almost a year." He said.

I shrugged. It wasn't as hard as he thought it was. I was always on the private side anyway. It just got way worse after they died. 

The only reason I didn't tell Johnny was because it was never really brought up. He knew that it was a sensitive topic for me and never wanted to bring it up. I just never wanted to talk about it.

I wasn't able to fall back to sleep. Soda said he wasn't going to leave until I fell asleep, but I pretended to sleep and tricked him. So I got some alone time.

It wasn't until six a.m. that I realized I had no school today. I hate school. If it was up to me, I would drop out and not go back. Darry of course wouldn't let me. Even Soda would be iffy about it. 

I lost determination to keep going after mom and dad. I guess I lost a lot when they died.

I remember wanting to work with trains, driving them along the tracks, but now, I can't even look at a train. Now that I don't have that, I don't have anything else I really want to do.

Soda always told Pony and I to never be like him. To never drop out and be happy working at a gas station. At this point, I would be happy doing that. It's sad.

At this point, I decided I was going to drop out as soon as I could. I just needed to do it without Darry and Soda knowing. That would be next to impossible.