𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐄𝐲𝐞𝐳 𝐎𝐧𝐥𝐲 | 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐢 𝐎𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐚

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟔 | 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲, 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲, 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲

𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬, 𝐈 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐮𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩. I find it difficult to believe that a person could love me completely. Admire me even when my faults are on full display.

I didn't, well, I don't have many friends. I have Notti and Dd, and Ddot.

That's about it if you don't count my brother. I think I feel the same way when it comes to friendships, I am alone and I don't belong to anyone, but everyone else always has someone else elsewhere. My friends are my only friends but I am not theirs.

There are probably many logical reasons as to why I'm so lonely, I'm terrible in social situations, talking makes me feel woozy and when I do my brain haunts me. Did I talk too loudly? Did I unconsciously dismiss my character and conform to others' thoughts?

I don't understand how people get others to like them. I am awkward and shy and reserved. My voice shakes when I speak and I ramble on and on so much, I hope people don't think I talk a lot.

I don't have a lot of friends, but I have Dd and Ddot and Notti.

I have Notti.

Notti never makes me feel alone. When I get nervous he holds my hands in his. When I lower my tone in fear that my voice is overpowering he urges me to speak louder. When I get clumsy or awkward he chuckles at me and helps me find balance. When I ramble, he lays his chin against his palm and encourages me to tell him more.

I know that even if I can be horrendous and full of flaws, Notti would love me regardless.

Which is probably why I kissed him.

"Kiss me, and when you're done. Tell me. Just tell me."

At his words, I could feel my knees buckle, and my stomach flourished feeling almost as if I had an entire butterfly garden swarming inside of me. I could hear the hitch in his breath the second I started up at him.

It was almost natural how the gap between us closed. His hands were on my waist the moment I took that single step forward.

He pulls me in gently, one hand moving up to angle my head up, our eyes still piercing through each other with an intensity I've never seen before. His hand slides from the side of my neck to the nap, his palm spreads open and cups the back of my head pulling me towards him.

There is a lingering tension between the two of us yet we don't speak. There wasn't enough room between us for me to step forward yet I found a way to diminish any space we had left. Our lips are open, touching, but we aren't kissing yet.

His eyes traveled down to my lips before fleeting back up to my eyes, "Laney-"

This marks the third time I've kissed Notti in the span of a week.