Globe Tracers 6: Chaos Storm

Chapter 60: Answers at Last

Raven:

Long into the night, I got up, hunger pains nagging at me. I was about to leave alone when Elain grabbed my hand. "Hey- we don't go anywhere alone, remember?" she asked. "What's up?"

My sleepy brain slowly recalled that she was right. "Just hungry. There's fish in the main tent right?"

Elain sat up with a sigh. "Well- I mean it would be fitting. Our last day that we know for sure we'll all be together is the first day I cook you a proper meal like a real mother."

'Raven... please... let me take over okay?' came Jessica in my head. I closed my eyes.

'I can trust you this time? You've been at her throat this whole time.'

'Please... I know you have reason to doubt but...'

'Fine,' I let Jessica take over.

Jess blinked a few times. "Elain... it's Jess... stop. Just sit with me for a moment please?" I was nervous about where this might be going. Elain sat up in her sleeping bag as Jessica crossed her legs and sat as well. "We need to get some things straight." That didn't sound like what I wanted to hear...

"If you don't forgive me, Jessica... I can't blame you. I did what I did, child. But I will say that continuing to argue with me about it won't change anything."

"I do forgive you," Jessica said. Elain closed her eyes for a little while. She then looked up and opened her mouth to speak. "But..." Jess held up her hand, signaling Elain to continue looking at her. "We need to clarify what that means. What you did was awful and you haven't even begun to make up for it. I will let go of my grudge against you. As a fellow creature, made by God, I will hold you as special. I will protect you and yours with all my heart." Jess gave a nod, then continued, "But..." she shook her head. "This will never happen. Me sleeping in this tent with you and eating your food like we have something special... we don't. Nadine is my mother."

Elain gave a slow nod and closed her eyes. "Fair enough."

"I don't know what everyone here is going to work out, I suspect I will need to spend some time with the walkers, but it won't be for your sake, just for the sake of my own training. If you want to do something with me as a friend or acquaintance, that's fine, but not as a family. You gave up on that a long time ago. You made your choice, I'm not going to unmake it."

Elain slammed her fists on her knees, tears in her eyes as she let out a subtle sob. I hated to witness that but... nothing Jess said was wrong. There was no taking back the past. "I... I allowed myself to hope I could take it all back."

"Too late." Jessica looked away. "But... we can still be friends. I guess we can sleep here to protect each other as friends, that's fine."

"To be friends with the girl who I gave birth to," Elain struggled to her feet, wiping her tears. "It's... it's better than I deserve." She gave a few nods. "It's better than what I did to you. I treated you like an enemy." She sighed a few times. "I... I am proud of what you've become and I-" Jessica was about to speak up but Elain put up her hand, "No... no let me say it. I am proud of you. I know it's the pride of a stranger, and that's my fault, but it's still pride. You don't even know that boy Tyrell do you? But you protect him and help him like he's precious. You are a better woman than me, and you're not even grown." She looked at the door to the tent. "And even as... I don't know what will happen after this night... even so... I have a feeling it's the last chance I'll have to ask this. So just this one time... let me make you something to eat. Just this once."

"As a friend?"

"Don't hold that over this. I'm begging you, please. You don't know how long part of me longed for just this chance. Please."