Globe Tracers 6: Chaos Storm

Chapter 35: What Cannot Be

Quarteen:

"Yeah." She looked away for a few seconds. "Still I notice you're all wandering around this winter wonderland with that giant snake thing," Jessica said. She got a few curious looks. "I explained it to Kyle at some point but it looks like it wasn't shared around." She turned to me. "But you think I'm safe here with you guys? I mean, how long ago did you all crash down here?"

"Almost a hundred years now," I admitted.

"Well then, forgive my insensitivity, but you have four eligible ladies and three gentlemen, don't tell me you're all sterile. I get losing your children hurt, but how come I don't see any more? You're all so sad about what you've lost but..." she waved her hands in the air, looking around. "Place is pretty quiet for people trying to rebuild."

I looked at the ground. "I can't do it again girl, you don't know what it's like," I sucked in the cold air over my teeth to distract myself from the memories that threatened to come flooding in. "Forty children. I lost a few to the pirate raids on Fire Landing but... thirty-three of my babies were gone in an instant- you think that does nothing!?" I was finally shouting at her. I looked at her, as she was backing up a little and I felt like biting my tongue. She was just responding to her own crisis- what right did I have to be-

J-star stood up and folded her arms. "Really?" she asked. "The pain? You're gonna talk about the pain while your people die out in front of your eyes? You think I'm gonna hand my sister over to a bunch of losers ready to let their whole race go quietly into a farewell?"

"Hold your tongue, we made our mistakes, we know it. There's no way out of this. It's not like we can settle anew on earth. We're not supposed to be here."

Jay stomped. "You don't just let your people die like that. You find a way. Have you all really been wandering around feeling sorry for yourselves for almost a century?"

"What gives you the right to talk like this young lady!" I shouted, standing up.

I dwarfed J-Star in size easily, but she didn't even blink at it. It made me wonder what she faced in the past. "Because I know when no one opens your eyes nothing changes. So help me then, I don't suffer the blind, I drag them screaming into the light! I'm not giving my sister to a bunch of suicidal layabouts- the answer is no."

"How was your home life, little girl?" I asked, gritting my teeth.

"Amazing, dad was my champion and mom was my water and soil, the thing that made me grow. I loved them both and they loved me."

"Why did you leave? Sounds great. Why spend time with all these losers around you?"

"Don't you DARE call my family losers. We're not just giving up-"

"Aren't you?" I demanded back. "I'm sure we look so bad from where you stand, but what about Kyle? Is he never going to try to get his father back? Don't lecture me about giving up. How hard have any of you fought to get back with his family?"

"Well we haven't exactly had opportunities to-," Jay said.

"No," Kyle said over her. "Sit back down J-Star. The truth is I haven't made opportunities. My parents have been sending me messages and I've sent nothing back... I don't know..."

"Why?" Jay asked, with shock on her face.

"I don't know..." he replied. "At first I was too ashamed or afraid. But ya know, after all this time, I could have sent a clue as to what the problem was. I'm just afraid of what happens if I ever do, so I never have. If I ever make my father understand that I'm siding with the gargoyles- I have no idea what happens after that." He shook his head. "Don't get me wrong. Till we reconcile, there's a part of me that will never be whole again. Which- if that's what it takes to keep my friends safe and to keep the refugees who were kind to me alive, then fine. I don't have the right to take that first step to reconcile- and put all your lives in danger."