Globe Tracers 6: Chaos Storm

Chapter 54: Calling Home

Nadine:

The vacation home was empty for the third day in a row. It actually nice to be able to combine the children's stipends with my own money like this to be able to afford something nice when we traveled. That being said, I wasn't a solitary creature after all these years. Four days of an empty place was rather, well boring... and maybe a little sad.

As I walked through the vacation home, I thought of my real home back in the states and my mind worked like I was moving through it. I walked past the entryway where the stairs to the upper floors would be, where Jessica and Kyle lived when they were home. There was also a third room up there that had formerly belonged to my biological son Jaden. Below would Xao's room in the basement. I passed the family table, smiling at visions of it being full with the kids joking and devouring another meal- Kyle always being the first done because he had the smallest appetite and Jessica the last because she spent so much time goofing off and talking. I passed the chair that would have been Allen's and paused like I often did.

Would I ever find a man to take his place... could I ever bring myself to search for one? Till death do us part- but when it does, then what? Allen never forbid me to find someone when he was gone, in fact, he extolled me on his deathbed to move on. Even so, here I was.

In finding a new man there were... complications.

Regardless, it had been years since Jaden had left home and... even now it felt like the place echoed with its emptiness. There was a sadness in him being out on his own, and joy in knowing he had made it to adulthood.

The other children were off on an adventure. Over the years I had adopted a hands-off approach with them- similar to what my husband set down when he adopted them ages ago. They were too old to keep home like formal little ones- but they still seemed to need some kind of anchor, a kind of home outside their own efforts. They often seemed in dear need of someone to assure them they had a place to belong. It was a strange situation, but I was prepared to provide whatever they needed, as the children my husband had set before me.

I did love Kyle, Jessica, and Xao. They gave me the chance to feel like I would be an active mother till the day I died. There was a feeling of belonging in that, even if it was frustrating sometimes that I was ever to be making meals and... who was I kidding? There was a reason I kicked Jay and Jess out of the kitchen when I came home and discouraged Kyle from bringing in hunted animals, and even forbid Xao from shopping for me. I wanted to be a mother. I was wired for it. I hated that my current children spent weeks at a time away from home completely providing for themselves. They spent as much time home as out there, sometimes less home... it wasn't at all like with Jaden. I sometimes felt like I was doing nothing.

Then came the times when they came home from a failed case or something else that tested their nerves. Jessica took children dying the hardest, which, unfortunately for her, happened all too often. I constantly had to assure her that she wasn't a failure when she failed. I guess when failure means someone passes away, it can be much harder to deal with. If I mess up on paperwork, maybe someone doesn't get their full pay that week. If the Tracers don't make it to a case in time or calculate the risks poorly, someone dies or is injured for life. Jessica often seemed to mistake her impressive power for godlike power, feeling guilty even if a child passed away before she was on the case.

She wasn't the only one who had problems though. J-Star more and more felt like she needed to carry the team, and felt guilty if anyone got injured on her watch. There had been many times when the teen had to be assured that leaving the powers of a trickster behind really was the right choice, as she could have saved so many lives if only she still had that intoxicating ability to instantly solve problems.