ADDICTION [Kakashi x Reader]

Extra

(art from @rutta_1010 on twitter)

~ Many years later ~ 

(Y/n)

"Just help me out with this, (Y/n). Please," one of my friends asked me. But I ignored her and continued reading one of the books I took from the prison's library "C'mon, when have I asked you to do something for me?" 

"I lost count," I answered, passing the page and not even sparing her a look. But she continued to lean against my bed which was the one at the top of the bunk bed. 

"Okay, true, you're always helping me. But I promise if you help me smuggle this I'll give you a cut of the prize" she tried, but I ignored her again "Okay! I'll give you half of the benefits!" she added desperately. 

"I told you, I don't mind helping you out, but I won't risk getting more years. My sentence's already long as it is," I answered with a frown. 

"Exactly, what's another year or two?" 

"Stop it, Hana," this time my cell-mate Reyna spoke, suddenly coming into our cell "We love you, but unlike you, we don't want to stay here forever" she said, making Hana roll her eyes "Another one came for you, (Y/n)" she changed the topic, leaving a letter on our desk. 

"You can put them with the rest"

"Seriously?" Hana asked, leaning even more comfortably on my bed. I, once again, didn't answer her and just continued reading the book. I only had a week to read it, after all.

"You're not even gonna read it?" It was Reyna who asked this time, holding the letter in the air.

"No"

"Can I read it then?" Hana asked with a smile. I put the book down and looked at her with a frown. 

"No"

"Soon the letters won't fit in the box, (Y/n)... Maybe you should respond to him" Reyna spoke again, making me frown once more. 

I stared at both of them with a deadpan. We had had this conversation a million times. Every Monday, when the mail arrived, they would insist I read the letters over and over again. But I didn't want to... I simply shouldn't. 

It had been more than fifteen years since I had been in prison, and still, almost every week, Kakashi wrote me a letter I used to write back at first; knowing about him and his life made all this more bearable. But I slowly started realizing just how selfish that was of me. Yes, I could play pretend as if nothing had happened. I could write him back and hope he'd wait for me as he promised, but it would be unfair. It wasn't just that I kept him waiting for me, giving him hope when he could easily go on with his life; have a life of his own. Him waiting for me was simply a waste of his life. After all, even if I served my full sentence and I got out after 30 years... what would I do next? I was pretty sure I would probably be banned from Konoha anyway... Not to talk about how everyone would hate me or want to kill me.