ADDICTION [Kakashi x Reader]

3 Kakashi

(art from @maru_shikak on twitter)

I had been alone for a few days now. Well, I wasn't completely sure if it was three days, but I was starving again, so I figured it must have been more than a day. Which in itself was weird because (Y/n) would come around at least every other day. And for the first time, it was clearly making me uncomfortable. 

Since the day she was called by 'Sentako', I had been thinking about our unfinished conversation. I couldn't stop thinking about all the things I had been trying to avoid during my life. I thought about my father, about the rules, about my old team including Minato... but honestly, I couldn't make anything clear, and I just made everything even messier in my head. 

My head snapped up when I heard the sound I'd been dreading to hear: the door opening. And finally, I saw (Y/n). As soon as she got inside, the door was closed and she walked towards the table with the torturing tools she sometimes used. She didn't even spare me a glance, and I would have cared hadn't it been from my mind going elsewhere. 

My tangled thoughts of my life and depressing memories fell into the background when I saw one of her arms completely bandaged. I tilted my head, trying to see some more of it, of her, but she was giving me her back while she prepared something on the table. 

She stayed like that for a while, not even letting me know what she was doing. Until, finally, she turned around holding two steaming bowls that must have been filled with food. And although my stomach groaned from hunger, I did not actually pay attention to the bowls, for my attention had been completely taken by the huge bruise that covered one of (Y/n)'s eyes, almost not letting her open it completely. Then my eyes traveled down, to her neck where she had more bruises, and although they were different in shape and color, there was one I clearly recognized as the result of choking. 

"What happened?" I couldn't help but ask with both brows arched. But she didn't react at all to my question.

"Don't forget who makes the questions here," she said, and although she wasn't especially harsh, I knew pretty well that it was a threat. So I didn't ask anymore even if my eyes couldn't stop looking at the way her bruises seemed to disappear under her clothes; and the way she even seemed to struggle to pick up a spoon with her bandaged arm and wrist. 

She brought a chair near me and sat down. Then, she left one bowl on the floor, next to her chair, while she started mixing the suspicious contents in the one she was holding. The food definitely did not look appetizing. It looked even worse than the one at the hospital back in Konoha. But it had been the only thing I had been eating for more than a month, so I had luckily become used to it. Besides, that would be the only meal I got in several days, so I honestly would eat anything.

"The last time we talked, we agreed that your 'love' for rules came from some sort of futile revenge," she finally spoke, I nodded while my eyes were completely focused on the weird puree, still wanting to eat it anyway "You've seen that whether you follow them or not doesn't change the outcome, so why do you keep sticking to the rules?" she made a pause, leaving the bowl on her thighs instead of holding it with her hurt hand "People haven't changed their minds about them, and they will never do. They've proved it. The village hasn't thanked you for your actions, on the contrary, actually. They have never done anything for you, why do you keep fighting for them, for the people who have abandoned you?"

I stared at her, surprised that for the first time she wasn't looking at me while she waited for an answer. 

"In a situation like the one I am in, it's not worth retrieving me" I explained why 'they had abandoned me' as she said. But she didn't say anything and just grabbed a spoonful of the suspicious food.