Afterwards || Wenclair Fanfiction

Chapter 4

Wednesday's POV: 

Sinclair and I were laying on the floor looking up at the ceiling. I have felt more in these last few hours than I have my whole life. Emotions are exhausting. I truly do not understand why someone would allow themselves to feel so much, so often. 

Sinclair sets her head on my stomach. I hate to admit it but... Sinclair is growing on me. I no longer grow nauseous at the thought of hugging her. But today's events only made me want to like Sinclair less. Not because I don't like her. But I don't like falling for her. I know it will just bring more pain. To both me and Sinclair. 

"Hey Wednesday?" 

"Yes?"

"Are you sure you don't like anyone."

I pause. I know I should tell her but I can't. I want her more than anything. But that's the problem. I'm scared the closer I get to her, the more it will hurt when she goes. I can't lose her. Not again. The three days she was gone from the dorm were the most painful three days of my life, I can't imagine what it would be like to never see her again. Which means I can't tell her how I feel. She's still recovering from Ajax. I don't want to move to the next step until I know for sure what she wants.  

"Is the silence supposed to mean something?" She asks. 

"I don't know." 

"You don't know if the silence means something or you don't know if you like someone?" She says turning her head to look at me.

I bring my hands up and cover my face. "I don't know."

"Well you're just full on useful information today aren't you." She said sarcastically. 

I start to stand and she sits up. 

"Where are you going?" She asks.

"Have you seen the pond yet?" I ask. 

"Pond?" She said jumping to her feet. 

There is a pond about a block away from my house. It has a low hanging tree and lily-pads with small flowers. It was my second favorite place to be when I was young. The graveyard was my favorite. 

"Get changed and we can walk out there." I told her. 

She headed to her room and I changed. When I got finished I headed to her room. I knocked on the door and she yelled that she was almost ready. 

When she opened the door she was in just a bra and pants. I stared at her for several seconds. My eyes ventured down her body and back up again. 

"Do you have an extra sweater. I must've left mine at the dorms."

My eyes dart back up to her eyes. 

"I-" I was speechless. She was so beautiful. 

"Wednesday?" 

"Um.. Yeah.. yeah I have an extra but it might be a little big, it's from when my mom was younger." I say in a shaky voice.

"Are you okay? Did something happen?"

"No.. no I'm okay. Just a little tired."

I turn around and take a deep, shaky breath. 

We walk to my bedroom and I hand her the sweater. I try not to look at her but my eyes are drawn to her like a moth to a light. 

"Wens, you're kinda staring." She said with a small laugh. 

I force my eyes to the ground. 

"Sorry." I murmur.