My friend I think when you lose someone you don't miss them, you miss the things they gave you, you miss the things you guys did together. You see when I lost you my whole world came down and stayed on my shoulders. When you left me it felt like the ocean came in on me while the angels sat and laughed. It felt like all of the things we built came down and no matter how much you try to fix it you can't. You see, now that my eyes are finally clear I now look at our friendship as if we were both playing jenga, we both had to be careful of what we said and how we acted.
I've been going to therapy twice a week now. Hopefully I'll make improvement and be happy again. She has me write on a white bored but I usually just scribble because that's what I see in my mind. I usually talk about you because you're the only person I need to grieve over. Her office smells like a brand new house it's well organized if you were to ask me. She has a long wooden table in the middle which is separating the red layover I lay on and her black leather couch she sits on. It's quite wonderful. I think I'm going to get better.
When she ends up leaving you, please do not come back to me because I'll turn away and say I don't know you. Two years prier we were fine but now I don't know where we stand. I could tell you that I'm okay and I'm happy that you're happy but that wouldn't be the case. You say you don't know what's wrong and you didn't do anything wrong but you don't get it. You don't get why I'm mad at you all the time. Maybe if you looked at me directly in the eyes you can see. I'm tired of you treating me like shit day by day because you're so in love with her. What happened to our friendship? What happened to me over her? I don't know. So please when you decide you've had enough and you miss me please, I'm begging you. Please do not come back.
When I leave and I grow up I want my kids to know how much you meant to me. I want them to know that because of you I tried but even though you pit me through hell I still stand. My friend when I see you again I want you to smile.
My friend I love and miss you I'll see you soon I promise.
