My friend I have finally realized that I cannot change the person I'm becoming and I have to accept it, I have to learn to stick around for a while and not run off every once in a while, or when I feel like it. The only reason I'm saying this now is because I know it hurts the people around me and I make a mark on peoples life. I am so sorry I didn't realize this when you were here, I dread on it everyday. If I told you that I was sorry and that I loved you maybe you would've stayed but I didn't say anything, nobody did.
I don't know what to do anymore, I'm completely lost to be honest with you. You told me you were my friend and that you wouldn't leave me, but you did. I don't know how to tell you that I'm done. My friend when we first became friends it was great, it was really awesome. Now I don't what to be with you or around the people you once knew. Maybe this is all just me and I'm the one making mistakes but at least I realize it. I'm leaving.
I remember when we were in the 4th grade and our teacher paired us up together and she told us "The person you're with will either be your best friend or your enemy." You're neither, if you were still here then yes you would be my best friend, but now you're gone and you're not my enemy but you're not my best friend I have to learn to live without you, I mean you you already chose your path.
My friend I still need to go through your stuff, your mother told me there was stuff in there I need to see. I'm not ready to see it though. I know there are answers in there that I want to know but I don't want to know why you left, I don't want to know why you're not here with me.
I know I didn't always treat you right and I'm sorry I truly am. I know I didn't stand up for you the way I should've. I know that I wasn't the best at helping you with your problems, or help you to be kinder to your self. I know that I could've done all those things. I know where you've been broken. I know how many times you've been hurt, I lost count when we hit the double digits. I know how many times you've been shattered with a broken heart and you were left with nobody. I now know why you kept your walls so high. I've stayed awak with you, I even listened to your silence until we were both sound asleep. We've pondered the midnight sky. You deserve love you really do,honestly. So please accept the words that slip out of my mouth when I say I love you.
My friend I'm sorry for what I'm going to do and I'm sorry for all the mistakes I made. They built me up with who I am today and who I'm going to be in 10 years from now. I'm sorry for all the pain I have caused and all the tears that came from our eyes.
My friend I love and miss you, I'll see you soon.
