What makes you different makes you dangerous

~Chapter 26~

E L S A

So many violent deaths...I could only just manage to regain my sanity. I knew Jake thought something was wrong with me because I looked at him and he was worried. I knew what I had to do now. I was going to be strong and powerful and brave because I was going to take down the Capitol.

After witnessing way too many deaths in one day, it had become my personal mission. I wasn't going to let another innocent person be killed in Games that were just too cruel. I didn't blame Erik for killing the woman, Katniss. I blamed Pitch for making us compete for blood. I wasn't going to stand for it.

I knew what it felt like, heading into the Hunger Games, it felt like a...game; it didn't feel surreal until you came face to face with death. I remembered the victor of the Hunger Games from two years ago. Her name was Vikki and her parents were relieved but then something strange happened to her. As soon as she came back, she would often break into cold sweats or start screaming randomly. At the end of it all, her parents decided to put her to death because the hallucinations she was experiencing were worse than her being lifeless. 

That was what changed me – there was no winner of the Hunger Games. It was either kill people and become insane, or don't kill people and die anyway. I didn't want other people to feel that way; it was just unfair that they had to face so much pain and suffering.

The Hunger Games didn't even make sense. Killing people to attain entertainment was shallow and weak and despicable. "Don't worry, Katniss," I thought, "I'll get your revenge on the Capitol and I'll make it my personal duty to get rid of President Black."

Oh and that arrow shattering? That was me. I was so nervous that I had frozen the arrow, shattering its tip. Thank goodness the Capitol didn't notice; otherwise I'd probably be dead already.

***

That night, after we had set up camp, I started dreaming.

I saw Giselle. Giselle was one of my very close friend when I was little. She and I would braid our hair the same way and go to school with the same bright, happy smiles. We were both oblivious to the terror around us until the Reaping Day came. Giselle got reaped and there was outrage among the crowd.

Many people died because they were protesting against the Capitol to "stop the madness". They believed, like my parents, that young children shouldn't be allowed to enter. It was the first time I had ever witnessed people die. It was short-lived though because the Peacekeepers, the Capitol's' soldiers, soon got the situation under control but I had seen enough blood to traumatize myself.

It was then that I truly started to fear for myself and my family. I never knew people could just...die but it had happened in front of me and so many people had died at once. Gunshots to the head. When I had asked my mother about it, she had nervously laughed and said that they were just pretending but I knew better.

Giselle had to leave that day but I never got to say goodbye to her because she was taken away by the Peacekeepers. I never got to tell her how much she meant to me as a friend. Two months later, the Games were on television. My parents never let me and Anna watch them but we always sneaked up behind the sofas when our parents thought we were sleeping.

I watched Giselle die that day. It was on television; being broadcasted to all of Panem. That wasn't the most traumatizing bit, though. The worst part was how she died. Back then, the Capitol was much crueler, they started a forest fire and she got caught in the midst of it all. She was burnt alive. And that's the day I screamed for the very first time. I screamed and screamed and screamed until my parents had to give me a sedative injection to calm me down.

Giselle's parents never found her body because the Capitol never bothered to look for it. "It burnt up in the fire," They had told us. When her funeral was held, I couldn't get the words "Goodbye" out of my mouth. It was too much pain to bear. I had simply said sorry to her non-existent body. Sorry I couldn't save you. Sorry I never said you were my best friend. Sorry I couldn't help you.

In my dream, Giselle was standing there. She looked healthy but her face was serious.

"Elsa," she said. I looked at her in horror. She only looked at me with thoughtful eyes. "Be strong," was all she said before I was woken up by Jake. 

—

Sorry about Katniss in the previous chapter...until next time ~flies away~