"Wazzup?" I yell at the old man as he opens the door. "My friends and I are doing a survey and we were wondering if you could take some time to answer some questions."
"Um, sure." The old man shrugs.
"Alright, first of all, do you think Lady Gaga looks like a peacock?"
"Yes."
"Do you think One Direction is gay?"
"Yes."
"Do you believe that they have girlfriends?"
"No."
"Do you like the song Skinny Love by Bon Iver?"
"What by who?"
"Is The Wanted better than One Direction?"
"Yes."
"So you Know who The Wanted is but not Bon Iver?"
"Yes."
"Do you say anything other then yes or no?"
"Yes."
"Have you ever heard of Playback or the Janoskains?"
"No."
"Do you like Ham?"
"No."
"DIE! Do you like Oreo's?"
"No."
"DIE! Alright, well thank you for your time Sir. We'll be seeing you soon. Farewell!" I say as Danielle stops the recording and Aleria finishes tapeing pictures of the boys on all the windows facing inside the house.
"That was great! Let's go before he attacks us with an umbrella though!" Danielle says and we jog towards the car waiting for us.
"Go! Go! Go!" I yell to the driver as he drives away. "To the Hotel please," I say as he begins to drive. Yes, we do have our own driver because we are Hannah Montanna! But shhh! Don't tell anyone it's a secret!
"Well, that was kinda boring, but we couldn't get arrested cause we have to meet the boys from The Wanted in 10 minutes." Aleria says and I nod along while Danielle stares at us like we're crazy.
"Rigghhhttt," Danielle mutters confused. "Cause it is oh so normal to get arrested on a daily bases.
"It is normal," Aleria shrugs and I nod in agreement. We pull up to the hotel and head to the elevator, but instead of hitting the button for the top floor, we hit the button for the second to top floor. "BUTTON!" Aleria and I yell in usion and Danielle giggles. The the box of death slowly makes its way up to the right floor.
"So, what room are they in?" I ask and Aleria and Danielle shrug. "Well on that fantastic note, let's just knock on every door." I suggest and take of down the hall knocking on every door. The first door opens, Jay McGuiness opens the door. The second door opens, out comes Max George, the third door has Siva Kaneswaran. The fourth opens and out comes Tom Parker. Ahh, that must mean that the last room is Nathan. "HEY GAYBOY! OPEN THE DOOR WHORE! COME ON AND HURRY UP STUPID!" I yell as Tom shakes his head. Nathan comes walking out of Jay's room.
"Hey guys, who were you yelling at Jess?" Nathan asks and I glance at him.
"Oh, just waiting for Nathan to open his door." I say pointing to the door.
"um Jess?" Nathan asks.
"Yeah?"
"Right here!" He exclaims. I'm sharing a room with Jay."
"Then who did I just call a whore?" I ask and everyone points behind me. I slowly turn to see a very angry bald,muscular angry man standing there with his arms crossed. "Jeez! Tom! I told you not to go knocking on that door!" I snap at Tom.
"Wha-a I-" He starts but is cut off by Nathan.
"JESS WATCH OUT!" He yells as something sticks my leg and I fall to the floor in pain. "HEY!" Nathan yells as the man who hit me slams his door shut. I try to stand but fall back down in pain.
"Ow," I whimper. I whimpered! God I must sound like a pansy! And no that is not a complaiment. (A/N Yes my socail teacher subsituted my english class and we were reading a book and a guy called someone a pansy and my teahcer was like whats a pansy? and the rest of my class was like it's a flower. and he was like so it's a compliament OK I'll go call my wife that and no one could explain that it wasn't a complaiment so...I wonder how it went over with his wife. and yes that is the biggest run on sentence I have ever made.)
"Come on," Nathan says lifting me up and carrying me into his hotel room. He gentley drops me onto the couch before going to get me some ice.
"I'll go get Liam," Danielle says and Aleria sits at the bottome of my legs.
"Oh my God it's already the size of an island!" Aleria gasps. "And the colour of a...a purple island!"
"Wow, original," I mutter as tears roll down my face. It really hurt. Like really! Nathan comes in and places the ice gentley on my leg. "Where are the rest of the guys?" I ask.
"Going to the frint desk to complain," Tom says as he walks in and sit in the arm chair across from me. "Wow, that looks horrible."
"Gee, thanks," I mutter sarcastically.
"Jess!" Liam exclaims as he comes bursting through the door.
"Hey," I mutter sheepisly waving.
"What happened?" Niall asks running into the room.
"She thought Nathan was in the room next door, and started yelling and teasing him, but it wasn't Nathan and the guy smashed her leg with...I think it was a frying pan, but I'm not sure." Tom explains and Niall's face turns red.
"I'll kill him," Niall growls clenching his fists.
"I agree with Niall," Liam says also really mad.
"Great, well before you do that does someone want to take me to the hospital?" I ask and everyone looks at me. "Yes! I talk, now can someone please take me to the hospital?" I snap. "Girl in pain on the couch here!"
"Right," Niall says picking me up and kissing my forehead gentley. "Let's go," He says as he carries me out of the fancy room and towards the elevator.
"Hello Death Trap Box, I'm currently crimpled so if you could please not send us plumetting to our deaths that would be great thanks," I say as Niall pushes the button for the lobby and we all pile in.
*~* *~* *~*
"Thank you," I say to the elevator as we walk towards the back door of the lobby. I wasn't going to walk out the front to be strangled by fans. Well I wasn't going to walk at all, but I wasn't going to have my ride strangled by fans. We all know there here for me though. Remember, Hannah Montana/ Queen Hamalot are in the building. Well not anymore considering Niall had just placed me into the limo. Liam turns on the news as we all ride in silence towards the closest hospital.
"And in other news, three girls have vandilized this old man's house with pictures of One Direction. Apparently, they asked his if they could do a survey, but there were only to girls at the time. Once the survey was over they walked away giggling. Another girl joined them a minute later. The man then walked into the living room to find his windows covered with pictures of the boys of 1D." The newscaster explains and Danielle, Aleria and I look at each other.
"Girls.....please tell me it wasn't you," Liam sighs.
"Alright, it wasn't us," Aleria shrugs.
"You're lying aren't you?"
"Yup," I repl,y popping the "p", as we pull up to the hospital.
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Sorry it sucks but I wanted to update tonight and I have to go to this open house for the highschool in half an hour and I need to get ready so I kinda rushed through it. Anyways for the next chapter maybe could you please get me to 430 votes? PPPPLLLLLEEEEAAASSSSEEEEE! And THANK YOU SO MUCH YOU AWESOME HAMS FOR ALL THE AMAZING COMMENTS!
-H
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The Badass Was Kidnapped
FanfictionReally old book. I was very young when i wrote this, but I can't bring myself to delete it. Read at your own risk. (Yes it is an overly stereotypical 1D fanfic.) If you want a better Niall Horan fic check out Selfishly Selfless :)
